Q; How did the blind man cross the road? A; very unsuccessfully leaving behind memories of his joys but soon forgotten smile

Person 1- Ask me if I am a tree Person 2- Ok, are you a tree? Person 1- Nope

Once upon a time there were three aliens. The first alien landed in a school,The second alien landed in a market, and the third alien landed in a preschool. When the first one landed the teacher asked the students who wants to go to the computer lab,all the students said me! me! me! and the alien learned me! me! me! When the second one landed the businessman asked him what he wanted, and he saw a toy gun and it talks and the gun said gun! gun! gun! and the alien learned it and said gun! gun! gun! Then when the third alien landed one preschooler stole another preschoolers lollipop then he said "He stole my lollipop"! And the alien learned it and said "he stole my lollipop!" Then someone got murdered and the three aliens went there and the murderer detective asked "Who killed that man!" And the first alien said me! Me! Me! "What did you kill him with!" Then the second alien said gun! gun! gun! "Why'd you kill him!" Then the third alien said "He stole my lollipop!" And that's it folks! ????????????????????????????????

JOHN to MARY: Roses are red Violets are blue Sugar is sweet So are you MARY to JOHN: Roses are red Violets are blue Who are you? JOHN to MARY: Roses are red I'm your husband MARY to JOHN: No! JOHN to MARY: WHAT??? MARY to JOHN: Ex Awkward silence. Mary moves out the next day.

Why couldn't Hellen Keller drive? She was blind.

Have you ever had Ethiopian food? No. Well, you should, if only for the cultural experience.

Knock knock. Who's there? Interrupting doctor. Interupting doc- You have aids.

Whats the difference between a black an white guy? They have different skin tones

A duck walks up to a lemonade stand and says to the man running the stand. QUACK!!!

why did the man hop everywhere? He only had one leg

If you driving a jetski and the wheeles fall off how many screws does it take to fix the dog house? BLUE PAINT

Why does Santa Clause say Ho Ho Ho? He has Tuberculosis.

What's more fun then spinning a dead baby around on a clothesline at 50 miles an hour? Stopping it with a shovel.

Roses are red violets are blue. Yes.

What do you get when you eat a bag of potatoes? The're all gone.

What's worse than finding the Holocaust in your apple? Nothing

Hey guys I'm more of a Nets fan.

LOL we are spamming this site too much!

Whats black and red and dead? Nobody could tell, but they were sure that it wasn't a dead black person, so stop being racist!

everybody loves raymond

Why did everyone at school think that Susan was so hot? They set her on fire.

(joker) Do you like fishsticks? (recipient) "No" (any response from the joker at this point qualifies as anti joke)

You're mother has had a heart attack in the middle of the street, you start to sing amazing grace hoping people will join in, but unfortunatly this is not a musical and you should call 911.

What do you call a saxaphone playing unicorn, that's flying away to a distant planet on a penguin? a dream

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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