your mother is so fat that her doctor advised her to stick to a strict diet and exercise routine to help her lose weight

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why didn't the donkey go to the party? Because, unfortunately he did not have the required linguistic skills to communicate with the person inviting. This is obviously dependent on whether the person who invited him was a human, if it was another donkey then perhaps this would of happened. However, this is also very unlikely as donkeys do not have parties or really communicate

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A blonde went to a doctor for a checkup. The blonde couldn't hear the doctor 'cuz she had headphones on so the doctor took them off. A couple of minutes later she died. The doctor was curious so he put the headphones on. It was saying, "Breathe in, breathe out. Breathe in, breathe out..."

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Why did the Quantum chicken cross the road? It was already on both sides.

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Q. Why do televisions come with clickers A. So you don't have to get up to change the channel

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My mother-in-law fell down a wishing well, I was amazed, I never knew they worked

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What did batman say to robin to get in the car? Get in the car.

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Roses are red, Violets are Violets. Screw this poem. Potato.

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What's the longest word in the English language? Tuna. (I lied about it being the longest word in the language.)

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Knock, Knock. Who's there? Elephant. Elephant who? Seatbelt.

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two ducks run into each other........ then they walk away

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A man was found dead, in an ice cream van, the other day. He was covered from head to toe in hundreds and thousands, with two flakes sticking out of his ears. The police say it was a tragedy and will be informing his next of kin in the next few days.

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Wanna hear a joke? Your life.

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four score and seven years ago. . sharks with frickn laser beams attached to their FRICKeN HEADs.

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what did the apple say to the peer... I taste better !!

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What do you call a woman in the kitchen? Her name.

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How does an electrician install an outlet? I don't know. I'm not an electrician.t

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What's brown and smells like shit? The rapidly decaying bodies of several dead chipmunks.

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What's nice and looks like a rat? Ryan Kavanagh, I lied about the nice part

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why am I who i am, and you are who you are? dick spice

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Penis.

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What looks like a flower, smells like a flower, and feels like a flower, but isn't a flower? Just kidding it's a flower

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100 chefs walk into a bar

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because his village has been ravaged by small pox.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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