roses are reddish voilets are blueish if it weren't for christmas we'd all be jewish

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knock knock. "who's there?" dick. "dick who?" dick ferns.

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Q: what is the most confusing day in the ghetto? A: fathers Day

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting stabbed.

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Roses are grey, Violets are grey, I am couler-blind, and poetry is gay

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Cement is grey, Shoes are myriad colors, but usually white, black, or brown, depending on their use, And I love you.

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A man walks to his coathanger and shouts: "I AM GOING TO THE STORE!" his wife says not to because the Rapist 'Eggman' was out again. He says he will be careful. On his way to the store, he hears "They are the Eggmen, I am the Eggen-" but the man shouts "AND I'M THE WALRUS, SO SHUT UP AND GET OUTTA MY FACE OR I'LL KOO-KOO KOO-JOOB YOU AND YOUR CHILDREN!" the Eggman and the singer became friends and found two more from Liverpool who were excellent musicians. They formed the band 'The Beatles'. The Eggman shot the Walrus in 1980 after the band's breakup.

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What ever happened to the bartender that asked, "Why the long face?" He was punched hard on the face for asking a stupid cliche!

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Bob loves Anne. Anne loves Bob. No one cares.

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A hasidic Rabbi and a member of Hezbollah enter a bar in a Jewish settlement. (No, of course they didn't.)

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What's big, brown, and full of crap? A septic tank.

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What is Oedipus' favorite tv show! How I Met Your Mother

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Q: What do you call a psychic midget who has escaped from prison? A: A SMALL MEDIUM AT LARGE!

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How many vikings does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Probably just one, though I'd imagine it hard to teach someone from the 9th century C.E. how to, let alone explain electricity.

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Knock Knock Whos there? You You Who? Who You Oh im Jim.

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Q) What is black, white, and red all over? A) A zebra that just became the kill of a hungry carnivore

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It's valentines today! My girlfriend died.

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What's green and has wheels? Grass. I lied about the wheels.

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Why was the dog barking... Because billy fell down the well

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What did Johnny get for Christmas? Nothing. Johnny is Jewish.

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what do you call a black person who hated fried chicken? a vegetarian.

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Why did the koala fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the tree fall over? The koala forgot to let go.

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your mom is so fat, that your father is no longer attracted to her and it is tearing your family apart.

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What do you call a Muslim flying a plane? Still a pilot.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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