What is 1 inch long and eats everyone in it's way .... my pet fish

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What starts with P and ends with O-R-N? Popcorn

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I was thinking... Love conquers all right? Remember the epic crying video? Satan: Because... Some where deep inside... I still love you... God:BUUUUUUUUUUAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHAAAAUuuuaaaahhh... (Partially invisible effect hand of Satan pats God on the back) The universe is at peace with no opposing forces and I am Nerometal, not that asshole that claims to have one fist and is the leader of some sect, I am and will always be the original Moralman, my name simply happens to be Nero, and thats it, so I am not dissing the bible, why would I none of my business literally, but if love can be tha powerful eh?

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What did the kid with no arms and legs get for christmas? Cancer

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My momma's so ugly she had to get plastic surgery. Now I need it.

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Q: Why was jimmy's mom crying? A: Because her doctor said their were going to get rid of he cancer, 5 minutes later hey came back in and told her that he had made a mistake and that was for someone else, she was actually only had a month to live.

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That awkward moment when a joke doesn't end the way you think it would.

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Religionh

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What is 100(1+1) -100 + 50 x2 - 300? 0. But who cares? The answer is as worthless as you.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven died three months ago and was clawing on his bedroom window.

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Q. Why did Michael Jackson call Boys II Men? A. He thought it was a home delivery service.

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So, a Turtle, a Giraffe, and a Hippopotamus walk into Stop-N-Shop. They are quickly excorted out and the Zoo is contacted to take the wild animals. The Manager wonders why they were there in the first place.

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How many girls does ittake to screw in a lightbulb? Doesnt matter as long as dinner is on the table by 6:00

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Why did America nuke Japan? Because Japan bombed Pearl Harbor.

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What's worse than rain on your birthday? Dying

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A dyslexic man gets asked what 1+1 is, he replies with a wopping 11. Grats <3

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WHY DID THE MAN FART HE WAS A FARTY PANTS AND WE CAN CHAT HERE ON THIS WEB GO TO ANTI JOKE SEE ME I WILL GIVE U JOKES

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Know knock Who's there The fat lady off her medicine ball Call 000

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Honk if you're Amish!

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Me and my friend wanted to burn some calories so we found a fat kid and lit him on fire!

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What goes up and down but never physically moves? My grade.

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Roses are red, Facebook is blue, no mutual friends, WHO THE HELL ARE YOU!?!?

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Your mom is so stupid she has to get homeschooled for college!

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The ability to live the life of a dead person.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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