2 Penises

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What was the first thing that went through the mind of the first 9/11 jumper? Thank god I only jumped from the first floor.

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Why did the baby cross the road? Becuz it was stapled to the chicken.

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Why does Beyonc'e sing ''to the left to the left''? Because black women have no rights.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He was attached to a bomb filled with spoons

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A priest was walking home from church one day when he found a young boy crouching naked in the bushes. The priest contacted local law enforcement authorities on his cell phone and proceeded home once they arrived.

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When life gives you lemonade, give life lemons and it'll be like WTF?!

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What's do you call a prostitute in a hospital? A concerned parent.

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How do you get Helen Keller to keep a secret? You politely ask her not to tell anyone.

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Wanna hear a joke? Sure. Me too.

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*see an orphan* Knock knock Whos there Not you parents ...

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why did the woman walk into the kitchen? i don't know, but the better question is why she left in the first place.

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What's the difference between a baby and hot dog? I don't put ketchup on my hot dog when I eat it.

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What do 9 out of 10 people enjoy? Gangrape.

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What's the difference between a raccoon and a bear? One's a raccoon, the other's a bear.

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why didnt the little boy say goodbye to his mom because he got hit by a bus

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What did the man do when he found a lost dog in his yard? He shot it. This was a very old, lonely, and distressed man with many unresolved problems resulting from his childhood in poverty.

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Girl goes to see a sex therapist. Girl says, "Doc, though this has never been a problem, for the past 3 months I have been unable to reach climax. Can you help me?" Doc says, "Yes.". And after an intense 18 months of therapy the doctor helped the girl to discover that her inability to reach climax was related to issues of childhood sexual abuse. And after another 36 months of therapy the girl finally found the courage to confront and forgive her unrepentant abuser, as she realized that by not forgiving him, it was like drinking poison while hoping that he would die. And though the doctor did help her,as he had said, the girl never regained her ability to reach climax again.

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Yo mama so fat, she should see a doctor to discuss healthier lifestyles.

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Little Stephanie was up all night on Christmas eve excited for her new bike that Santa was going to bring her. After tossing and turning for what seemed like decades, the sunset finally arose and Stephanie ran down the steps to unwrap her new bike with the family. Immediately after she went down the staircase, she found her parents marinated in their own blood, with knife wounds all around their body.

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What's worse than breaking your neck on a trampoline? Getting in a car crash on the way to the hospital.

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How do you get Doctor Phil in a bikini? Give him a little alcohol to ease inhibitions and offer him a suitable bribe.

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1d

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1 black man on the moon = problem 10 black people on the moon = problems Whole black population on the moon = problem solved

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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