Knock, Knock. Come in!

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You can pick your friends, and you can pick your nose, but you can't eat your friends Nose it is!

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The more I learn to understand myself, the more true I am towards my values the less human I feel. The irony is, that there will always be other humans feelng the same.

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Why is it unpleasant to eat a meal with lots of basketball players? Because they will be focussing entirely on discussing tactics (especially if there is an upcoming game), and therefore will probably not be displaying good manners or making polite mealtime conversation.

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Two men walked into a bar. I'm surprised the second man did not duck out of the way.

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How many dead babies can fit in the trunk of my car? Seven.

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you first

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How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? That would depend on the individual situation at hand and to assume you could accurately estimate that is ridiculous.

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Roses are red, my name is not Dave, this poem makes no sense, microwave.

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Why couldn't anybody at school taste lunch? Nobody made lunch.

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Knock Knock Who's there? The police. The police who? Your son has been in a car accident and has died.

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Stephen Hawkings walks into a bar. An impossible thing because he can't walk.

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Q: Why are black people afraid of Chainsaws? A: Because it could kill them as it could any other individual.

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- Why Mexicans have small steering wheels in their cars? - Because of this they are able to drive a car in handcuffs.

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i like having monkeys lick peanut butter off my nipples

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What city likes baseball the most? New York

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what did the indians give the pilgrims? syphylis

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There is a 5 second long and extremely depressing video, most cant watch it for any longer than 6 seconds

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Knock knock Get off my porch homo

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WHO WANTS SOW????

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What does a black guy and an apple have in common? They're both apples except for the black guy

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Why did the chicken cross the road? That is none of your concern as it invades his freedom of privacy.

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Roses are, blue, Violets are red, Screw poetic forms, I wish you were dead

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what do you call a Mexican driving a plane? a pilot you were probably to racist to work that out

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops