Why cant helen keller drive Because shes a woman

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An owl and a squirrel where siting in a tree, watching a farmer go by. The owl then turned to the squirrel and said nothing... cos owls can't talk. The owl then eats the bird because it is a bird of prey

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Question: why did the pilot crash the plane? Answer: because the pilot was a loaf of bread

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What did the boy with four arms get for Christmas? A Laptop. Why couldn't he use it? He had no fingers.

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Why did the little boy fall off the swing? I throw a refrigerator at him.

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What do you call two lesbians in a canoe? Women.

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What did bob order at pizza hut? Pizza

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Whats really down a black hole? I don't know...The last person to go down one never came back because he died of AIDS.

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How does Hitler tie his shoes? With little Nazis.

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compardre No Pew.. Pew.. At mi OINK.. OINKs...

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Why did the audience leave disappointed? Low budget and poor directing.

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Want to hear a funny joke? Not really.

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Whos allergic to BS You R! :D

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A black man walks into a bar and treated with equal care

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whats worse then finding a worm in your apple? getting stranded on an island with your best friend and realizing several days later that you will have to eat him to survive. hours after eating your friend a boat saves you and now have to live the rest of your life knowing you ate somebody.................... oh and the Holocaust

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What do you call a New Zealander with 1000 lovers? A shepard

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Why did the man get a tattoo? A: he wanted to express himself.

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What did Britney Spears say when she got to Paris? "Oh my God, we're in France!"

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rocky is staring at us from outside...

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Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps, "My friend is dead! What can I do?". The operator says "Calm down. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then the man returned and said, "My friend does not have a pulse and he is not breathing, so I stand by my prior assumption."

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What's black, white, and red all over? Half of a dalmatian.

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What did the policeman say to the black thief? You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say or do may be used against you in a court of law. You have the right to consult an attorney before speaking to the police and to have an attorney present during questioning now or in the future. If you cannot afford an attorney, one will be appointed for you before any questioning, if you wish. If you decide to answer any questions now, without an attorney present, you will still have the right to stop answering at any time until you talk to an attorney. Knowing and understanding your rights as I have explained them to you, are you willing to answer my questions without an attorney present.

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"I had angry birds before it was cool." -Alfred Hitchcock

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How many Mexicans does it take to change a lightbulb? None, for the task at hand is so simple, you should do it.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops