Me and my wife set and watch the eleven o'clock news every night. My wife always thinks that she has the different disease that is mentioned each day. One night she was practically in tears telling me that she had the disease that was talked about that night. I looked at her and said "honey, there is no way that you have testicular cancer. You don't even have testiculars." The End

Why did the little girl fall of the swing? -because she had no arms Why didn't she get back up? -because she had no legs Why diddn't anyone help her? -because she was black.

why are black people so good at basketball? because they understand the fundamentals, work hard at becoming better, and have fun playing the game/

Why is Helen Keller a bad driver? Because she is blind.

What do you call it when you kill a Jewish homosexual? Murder.

What did the Jew get for Christmas? Nothing

What do you call a fat kid? I don't know...you tell me

Knock knock! Who's there? Girl Scouts selling cookies! I'm not legally allowed within 500 yards of you. Please get off my property.

A dog walks into a bar. It was a bar in Taiwan, so they killed it and ate it.

What do you get when you cross a parrot and a beach ball? A beach ball with a parrot design on it.

What do a duck and a bike have in common? They both have handlebars...except for the duck

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't. It was struck by a car and killed instantly by the impact.

Q:why is walmart so big? A:Years ago a man named Sam Walton had a vision for one stop shopping and affordable low prices. And it goes without saying that being a one stop shop must mean you have a lot of inventory thus the size of Walmart is a lot larger to hold and support the increased mass of inventory .

why did the girl go into the kitcen? she was preparing a meal for her well safisticated family which had not ate dinner yet that day.

Say silk 5 times. Silk Silk Silk Silk Silk Now what do cows drink? Water.

Stranger at door: *Knock knock* Oliver Twist: Who's there? Stranger at door: Not your parents.

What's pink and fluffy? Pink fluff, Whats not pink and fluffy? Sexual assault.

What did the chicken say to the black guy? Nothing, humans and chickens can not communicate.

Schrödinger's cat walks into a bar And doesn't

Why is 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 cantaloupe.

My mom so fat, when she jumps gravity pushed her away from the ground

Rosees are red Violets are blue I have schizophrenia and I do too

THIS ONE IS MIIINE THIS ONE IS MIIINE I AM TOTALLY TIFA I AM TOTALLY TIFA! This one apparently.

A black man goes outside to shoot some hoops. He misses all of them because not all blacks are good at basketball.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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