My momma's so ugly she had to get plastic surgery. Now I need it.

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My mother in law fell down a wishing well, i was amazed, i never new they actually worked

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i like men but im not gay

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Why do they give old people Viagra at nursing homes? Because erectile function decreases with increasing age, and it would be unfair to needlessly deny senior citizens the right to consensual intercourse if that is what they want.

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a horse walks into a bar and the bartender asks "Why the long face?" Then the horse left because that question is racist to horses.

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What's black, white, and red all over? Trayvon Martin and George Zimmerman.

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Q-what did the black man say before he crossed the road? A-i wanna cross the road.

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How do I get to Carnegie Hall? The address is 881 Seventh Avenue at 57th street in New York. it's beside the Russian Tea Room and almost directly across from the IESE school of business. The Russian Tea Room has a large bright red awning out front and a large carving of three dancing bears on the face of the building, the bears are covered in gold leaf. You can't miss it.

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How do you get Pikachu on a bus? Through forceful action.

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What is really hard around Kim Kardashian? Diamonds.

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how do jews pay for a $1200 Tv. they play $1000.

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What's better than singing in the rain? Singing in a Pitt of fire. Oh wait that would be way worse than singing in the rain

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What's the difference between oreos and your opinion? I asked for your opinion.

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A nhiger walked up to a lemonade stand and he said to the man running the stand. "do you have any lemonade" the man said "no. we don't serve nhigers lemonade. but you can drink your own piss boy, thats home made.." the nhiger waddled away (waddle waddle) till the very next day. The nhiger walked up to the lemonade stand with a lawsuit file right in his hand and said "you are legally required to serve me lemonade" the man said "fu(k you nhiger go back to where you came go back to Africa it's full of aids" the nhiger said "goodbye".... i'm too lazy too finish this off so i'll spoil the ending, the nhiger was actually a smelly pakistanian, which was actually a dirty chi-nk in costume. let's just say lawsuits were filed but the lemonade stand owner had casey anthony's lawyer and in the end never had to serve fu-cking nhiger ,smelly pakies or dirty chin-ks again :) The End. Happily Ever After.

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Yo mama so fat when she sat around the hous she sat AROUND the house

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two pigs in a bath one says to the other can you pass me the soap..the other replies..do I look like a typewriter!?

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I'm Stephen Hawking, and I'm a PC.

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Your momma's so stupid, she threw out all the W's in the m&m's packet

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Q. Why did the kid drop his tennis racket? A. Because he got run over by a tank!

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LOLLLLLL! Lakers? making me laugh so hard! LMAO

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A man walks into a bar and poops his pants. He left because of the embarrassment.

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why did the chicen cross the road? because it saw an excellent deal on hair products on the other side of the street.

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Why don't you throw a rock at a Mexican on a bike? Because depending on the size of the rock, you could seriously injure him.

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Q:what has four legs, is green and fuzzy, and if it falls out of a tree it will kill you? A:a pool table

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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