How do you confuse a blonde? To get to the other side

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How do you get Doctor Phil in a bikini? Give him a little alcohol to ease inhibitions and offer him a suitable bribe.

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Whats long hard and has seaman? A submarine!

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, these two statement are obvious unless you are color blind

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Whats black and is on sale in shops? Blackberries.

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My dad is lactose intolerant. He shouldn't eat cheese.

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Life

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why didn't the bully beat up the nerds? His mom got arrested for molestation and his dad got sent to Afganistan so he was too depressed to beat them up.

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yo mama has one big titty and one small titty and the call the bitch paul

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What's worse then spilling milk? Instantaneous Human Combustion

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Whats bad about being a black jew? You have to sit in the back on the oven.............

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theres this guy that i REALLY like but today he was putting something in my locker, it was gumbie the little green bendy thing but i didnt want it to be in my locker so i slammed my locker, except the only thing was that his pinky was in the way!!!! oh gosh i felt soooooo bad!!!! turns out he went to the hostpital and got stitches!!!!!!! that made it worse on me!!!!!! he said he was finee but i still cant let that go!!!!!

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What's worse then an adult dying A baby dying

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how to you confuse a blonde you ask her to recit the alphahbet back words

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"I love you terribly!" said the girl to her new boyfriend. "I'm your dog. Please stop having sex with me on Chatubate."

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What's blue and has two windows ? The sky, i lied about the windows.

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What color was the black guy's skin? Brown

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He was attached to a bomb filled with spoons

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My momma's so ugly she had to get plastic surgery. Now I need it.

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why were the girls confused? they were in a logic class and couldn't seem to find the irrationality chapter in the book

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Why do they give old people Viagra at nursing homes? Because erectile function decreases with increasing age, and it would be unfair to needlessly deny senior citizens the right to consensual intercourse if that is what they want.

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My mother in law fell down a wishing well, i was amazed, i never new they actually worked

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i like men but im not gay

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a horse walks into a bar and the bartender asks "Why the long face?" Then the horse left because that question is racist to horses.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops