roses are red violets are blue, every 1 looks at you and call u a fool

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Why did the clown chase the boy? The boy was sad and needed cheering up

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A man with tourettes walks into a bar, due to his disease he shouts unexpected profanities across the room; everybody in the bar bursts into laughter. The man cannot handle the pressure anymore and goes home. He opens a drawer in his bedroom and pulls out a gun and points it at his head. HIs wife of 15 years walks in on him about to commit suicide. She is horrified. He then looks at her and then down, and notices his one and only daughter by the age of 7 is by her side. The man ponders his reckless decision he was about to conceive. Moments later he and his family are holding one another sobbing in each others arms. A few days later the man diagnosed with touretts then goes back to the bar and shoots everybody there. After he killed everybody he curled up into a ball and regretted his decision. An hour later the police arrived and he was sentanced to life in prison for 3rd degree murder. His wife moved on and started a new family with his former best friend, and his daughter vists him every first tuesday of every other month. The man with touretts still cannot control his ticks and rots in jail everyday screaming obscenities for the rest of his life with no parole.

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1)Did you hear about the sick juggler? 2)No... 1) He just couldn't stop throwing up!!!! 2)Oh no!! Is he ok?? 1)He's dead. 2)HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA c&h

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What did the cannibal order at McDonalds? Big Mac, extra pickle, hold the mayo.

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I'm on a seafood diet. It consists of prawns and tuna.

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A farmer has 17 sheep standing in a field and all but 9 drop down and die. How many sheep are left? It doesn't matter. A CIA sniper guns the farmer down, along with his family and the remaining sheep. The other agents move in and remove all evidence that the government is experimenting with a new nerve agent.

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How did sarah break her arm? She was in a tragic car accident. An ambulance arrived and quickly rushed her to the hospital where she was cared for by medical professionals.

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A guy walks into a bar. But it was a solid steel bar and suffered severe wounds and a concussion. Lucky for him a bystander saw this happen and called 911. The man was transported to a hospital where he eventually made a full recovery and returned to work after one year.

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i tried logging into my ipad. turns out, it was an etch a sketch, and i dont own an ipad. also, im out of vodka.

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What do you get when Johnson cooks toast? Shit toast.

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How do you get a man out of a box? Blow the box up

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Hey Jew. What? Shut up.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side which would be a incontrovertible (obvious) decision.

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What is small, green, lives 10 meters under the ground and eat rocks? The little green rock eater!

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four score and seven years ago. . sharks with frickn laser beams attached to their FRICKeN HEADs.

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My name is Jeff

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If this becomes top-viewed I will post more milk related jokes

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What do you get when you cross a cat and a dog? an email from PETA

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What was the motto of the Holocaust? Yolo.

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one of my best friends is blind and hasn't been able to see anything hhis entire life but he can hear a hummingbird from 50 yards away i mean, talk about worthless..

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What's the difference between a black man and a gorilla? One is a black man and the other is a gorilla.

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why does beyonce sing to the left? because it has a catchy tune

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Wanna hear a joke about a baby with AIDS? It never gets old.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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