Your mother is so morbidly obese that if she sat on me, she would crush my skull and kill me.

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Why did the sperm swim back? cos he realised that he was in someones anus!

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Your mother is so stupid she couldn't get a passing score on a standardized test.

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How many dead babies does it take to paint a room? This is impossible as dead babies are incapable of achieving such a feat.

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What did the Homeless man get for Christmas? A dollar

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Why is Timmy afraid of x-rays? The last time Timmy had an x-ray, the radiation was too much for him, giving him terminal cancer, which also explains why he will die in the next 24 hours.

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What's red and looks like blue paper? Red paper

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Why is it interesting to watch your mum shower? It's Not, its sick you pervert

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What's worse than a worm in your apple? Thats a matter of opinion

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Whats the most fun thing you can do with hangers and a vaccum cleaner? -abort babies

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What's the difference between 31 dead hookers and a Lamborghini? One is a traumatizing tragedy that left at least 31 poor families mourning for their loved ones, whom were only trying to make a living in what is a terrible economy and were unable find a better job, and the other is an overpriced sports car.

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What happened to the bus? An unexpected, unforseen, instantaneous, sudden finger began to slowly disintergrate the earth

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:)Knock, Knock :(Who's there? :)Barbie :(Barbie who? :)Barbieq

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Did you know Helen Keller had a dog? No Neither did she

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Knock knock. Who's there? Schizophrenia.

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Why is Kony so mean? He used to date your mom.

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A man goes to the store to buy a kitten. While there, he decides to buy two because he is feeling particularly hungry.

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What's the best rabbit for a black person?

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Why was Hellen Keller a bad driver? She was a woman

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What's worse than finding a Holocaust in your apple? The worm

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Whats green and has wheels? Grass, I lied about the wheels.

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What do You call a man with no arms or legs? Dead, He died of blood loss 3 hours ago

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How do you make the queen of england cry? You rape her violently.

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What do you do with a wombat? Allow it to freely express instinctive behaviour in its natural habitat.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops