What do you call a black guy that steals a car? A father desperate to save his dying son who doesn't have a car to drive to a hospital

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock! Who's there? Not Suzie.

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what is the most efficient way to scratch your balls? hire a leprechaun slave.

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Why did Ian pass his CRB check? Because he committed his crimes on holiday

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What did the fat lady order at McDonalds? Nothing because she forgot here wallet at home.

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Barack Obama plays basketball

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High school is like forced anal sex, Hard, painful, and you cry your hopes and dreams at the end of it all.

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What do you call a black man standing on top of a church? "Holy-Shit."

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1234567890? ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ

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Fire is red Water is blue Earth is brown Air is transparent

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Why does Santa Claus drink so much hot Cocoa? Because Mrs. Claus got tired of his constant drunkenness and won't allow beer in the house in the house anymore.

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its's not rape if you yell "suprise!"

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What is Hitler's least favorite month? July...

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Up until today I thought eminem was the lead singer for maroon 5

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what can't you see but stalks you all day and night? ME!!!

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Why was the boy eating lunch by himself at school? Because his only friend was hit by a train.

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What is furry, red, and flat? Road kill.

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What's the difference between celery and a truck?

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A guy walks up to a girl and says: " hey can I have your number so can I have your text you later?" she says " no" he says " why ?" she says" guess" He says " look if you don't like me thats okay, " he gets up and walks away, turns out she doesn't have a cell phone, she was gonna give him her house number to call.

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A handless Asian boy was riding his bike through the park with some friends. One of his friends puts his arms in the air and yells "Look! No hands!" The handless boy rides his bike home, crying and thinking about how one day he would like to say, "Look! No hands!" without people getting nauseous.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know either, i'm just wondering why a chicken is trying to cross the road!

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What did Valerie get for her birthday? Nothing. Because no one loves her

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In the attic lights Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Leaving the things that are real behind Leaving the things that you love from mind All of the things that you learned from fears Nothin' is left for the years Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Lights, voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Leaving the things that are real behind Leaving the things that you love from mind All of the things that you learned from fears Nothin' is left for the years Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic

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Hitler walks up to a little girl at a concentration camp: - How old are you? - I'm turning 7 tomorrow! - Nope.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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