A man is boarding a plane. The attendant asks if he has a passport. The man says no, and leaves.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Why did little Jimmy cry when his Rolls Royce got destroyed? Because his parents were in it.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

When is a door not a door? When it's a pair of titties!

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Why did the mailman cross the road? To deliver mail

thumb_up thumb_down +25

A man stumbles up to the only other patron in a bar and asks if he could buy him a drink. "Why of course," comes the reply. The first man then asks: "Where are you from?" "I'm from Ireland," replies the second man. The first man responds: "You don't say, I'm from Ireland too! Let's have another round to Ireland." "Of course," replies the second man. I'm curious, the first man then asks: "Where in Ireland are you from?" "Dublin," comes the reply. "I can't believe it," says the first man. "I'm from Dublin too! Let's have another drink to Dublin." "Of course," replies the second man. Curiosity again strikes and the first man asks: "What school did you go to?" "Saint Mary's," replies the second man, "I graduated in '62." "This is unbelievable!", the first man says. "I went to Saint Mary's and I graduated in '62, too!" About that time in comes one of the regulars and sits down at the bar. "What's been going on?" he asks the bartender. "Nothing much," replies the bartender. "The O'Kinly twins are drunk again."

thumb_up thumb_down +25

What do you call mexicans running down the hallway? JAIL BREAK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +25

What do you call a man with multiple sexual partners? Well, first you strongly urge him to get tested for any contagious and potentially dangerous STD's that could have been transmitted from one partner's genitalia to another person's genitalia which could have very well been he himself. They could be life threatening. Oh, and call him by his first name.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

How do you make a lumberjack cry? By murdering his family.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

I haven't left my basement in 29 years

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Why was the Energizer Bunny arrested? He was found guilty of two acts of murder in the first degree.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What do a duck and a bike have in common? They both have handlebars...except for the duck

thumb_up thumb_down +23

For no reason at all Pac-man was being chased by evil monsters while eating his luch...He choked on his food and died

thumb_up thumb_down +23

A man looks both ways before crossing the street. He gets hit by an airplane.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Why did the pied piper eat tea half past three? Because the chicken tripped on the way across the street and the fat lady didn't sing.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Why did the black man sleep all day? He suffered from narcolepsy.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Your mom is so poor that she can't even pay attention.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Once upon a time, a duck named Jim went to work, he went up to the steps to his new job and and he was paid all day to sit in a hot tub. Little did he know it was a boiling pot and he was served at Christmas dinner

thumb_up thumb_down +23

"Hey dude, wanna come with me??" "Sure! Where????" "To the gorcery store, I need to buy a couple of lemons."

thumb_up thumb_down +23

This is a haiku. Not a very good haiku, But still a haiku.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What is green and has wheels? Grass. I was just lying about the wheels part.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Q: What do you call a black guy flying a plane? A: A pilot you racist.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

A guy walks into a bar, has a few drinks with his mates and gets highly intoxicated.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was dead

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What was the black guy doing in Mississippi? Just hanging around.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops