What's the difference between a piano and a goldfish? One's a piano, the other is a goldfish.

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The other day, a buddy of mine gave me some of his sandwich. "My wife made it," he said. "It's really good," I answered. We chewed in silence after that.

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Roses are red the grass is green now open your legs and let me fill you with cream

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A man was feeling sick and decided to go and see a doctor. He saw the doctor and then went home. He wasn't feeling any better so he decided to get checked-out by the doctor.

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(A man in a dark van pulls up)... Hey kids can you come help me find my puppy? The kids get in the car and they find the puppy in a near by park. The kids are then safely returned home.

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What's worse than reading a bad joke Realizing it's yours.

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Roses are blue Violets are red I shot your valentine Straight in the head

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My name is Dave I like poems Microwave ummmmmmmmm (enter word that rhymes with poems)

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What did Big Dog say to Little Dog? "We are both dogs."

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Why did the skeleton cross the road? To get to the body shop.

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What would happen if hitler and winston Churchill was in a bar? The police will be called to take them away as there just laying there dead

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what does hi = good by cause person doesn't like you.

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A neutron walked into a bar and asked "how much for a drink?" The bartender did not reply because a neutron is so small he didn't notice that it even entered.

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What did the orphan do on his birthday? He burned down his orphanage, he hated the place because he was severly abused.

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Why did it rain happiness? The people who wrote the jokes above and below this one exploded.

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Why did the girl fall off of her highchair? Her father threw an axe at her.

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A blind man walks into a bar. It was a book shop.

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A Jew and a German walk into a bar.

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Knock Knock : F*ck im watching porn...

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What's one thing that bothers EVERYONE? Mother Theresa

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Person One: Knock Knock Person Two: Whos there? Person One: You can see its obviously me because theres not really a door there.

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Mr.Green walks into the class. He is alone with no wife and no kids and suffers from depression. His salary is below average and he can't pay the rent this week so he'll probably get evicted. He has aids. He will die in 2 weeks.

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Knock knock Who's there A gorilla A gorilla who? A gorilla is a ground-dwelling, predominantly herbivorous ape that inhabit the forests of central Africa. The eponymous genus Gorilla is divided into two species: the eastern gorillas and the western gorillas, and either four or five subspecies. They are the largest living primates by physical size. The DNA of gorillas is highly similar to that of humans, from 95–99% depending on what is counted, and they are the next closest living relatives to humans after the chimpanzees and bonobos.

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What's read, round and gets smaller? A baby combing its hair with a potato pearler

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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