Patient: Doctor, it hurts when I run, I might have arthritis. Doctor: Let me check.... 5 minutes later... Doctor: It turs out you have 3 bullets in your legs. Patient: Ohhh, I get it now.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What did the dinosaur say to the centipede? It's funny cause the dinosaur is big and the centipede is small.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

derp

thumb_up thumb_down -12

you know whats worse than being cold? being colder

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What do you get when you have 5 Russians, a few 8 year olds, and guns? A kidnapping

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What do a blonde and a door knob have in common? Everybody gets a turn

thumb_up thumb_down -12

A: What did the Orange say to the Mango? B: Sup Hommie?! A: Wtf.... (awkwardly walks away)

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why does no one like fat people? Because of Jesse Ziegenbein

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What did Jesus say to the giraffe? Good day to you sir.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why did the chicken cross the road? Why don't you ask the chicken. I am sorry but I as a human being am totally incapable of understanding and communicating with chickens.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

I once went to a Haitian party, yea.. The DJ really brought the house down.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What did the Pope say to the homosexual couple? Welcome to the community.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why is there no aspirin in the jungle? Because aspirin is a man-made drug derived from salicylic acid, and it it is this that is extracted from willow bark, which used to be used by Cherokee Americans as a fever-reducer and pain-reliever.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

whats the worst part about being a black jew your black and jewish

thumb_up thumb_down -12

http://i.imgur.com/BJsbT.jpg

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What do you call double A's? Batteries

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why did the chicken cross the road? He never did because he's in KFC

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Gary: Hey Bill, wanna hear a joke? Bill: Yes Gary: Okay.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why do jews get their foreskin cut off? Because they're jewish.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What is red and can fly? An elephant. I lied about being red. And I also lied about the flying part.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Whats the worst thing about walking through a meadow of dead babies My boner

thumb_up thumb_down -14

A Hideo Kojima AntiJoke Typed by Hideo Kojima. Idea By Hideo Kojima. Concept By Hideo Kojima Spacing by Hideo Kojima Controlled for typos by Hideo Kojima Overseen By Hideo Kojima Aproved By Hideo Kojima. Reconsidered By Hideo Kojima Accepted by Hideo Kojima What took you so long?

thumb_up thumb_down -14

knock knock who's there? penis in penis in who? penis in you

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops