Roses are red Violets are blue I have ADD Oooh a cloud

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What happens when you throw a midget off of a tall building? It dies and the people below get midget on them

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Knock knock. Who's there? ... Damn knick knockers.

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Ginger woodpecker throbbing in the moonlight

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A boy with cancer decides to go skydiving for his 18th bithday. Unfortunately, his parchute doesn't work & he dies before he hits the ground.

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Why did the pumpkin stop using the jack hammer? Pumpkins cannot use power tools since they are nothing but orange gourds. But, [for sport] say this ‘pumpkin’ was incarnate; one could assume he was done with his demolition work. He then would return the portable drill to the rental facility and get his deposit back.

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give me a thumbs up

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Joe: it says gullible on the ceiling Jack: yes, I wrote it -by Ross

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Next season on teen moms, Justin Bieber tells her story.

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How did the jew win a marathon? Through hard vigorous training by running everyday and eating healthy.

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SCENE: A prirate walks into a bar with the wheel of the ship attached to his pants. BARTENDER: Doesn't that hurt? PIRATE: Aye! It drives me nuts.

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A duck walks up to a lemonade stand, and says nothing. Ducks are incapable of speech and therefore it would be physically impossible for a duck to say anything. Where the duck walks up to does not partake in the matter.

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Knock Knock Who's there The military. We're under attack. The military we're under attack who? Dinos

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Three mexicans walk into a bathroom they all had to go pee.

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Why didnt the guy eat cereal? Cause he didnt have any

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what is the difference between Rick Perry and Lindsay Lohan? it only takes Lindsay 4 1/2 hours to finish a sentance.

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I would piss if alex berry had aids n died

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A brachiosaurus walks into a cafe "Excuse me I'm an herbivore, can I have a full English breakfast, but with veggie sausages instead of normal sausages, and mushrooms instead of bacon?" Shop keeper: "No you can't. Your too big. You've destroyed my kitchen, and my livelihood. I have nothing left. You've accidently reduced my business to rubble by walking through the door"

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A man walks into a bar he's drunk and can't feel it But he's ok

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Why did the man kill the hamster? To get to the other side.

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Two fish are sitting in a tank. One says, "I'll man the guns. You drive."

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Why did the duck eat the chicken noodle soup? The duck was told that if he ate the chicken noodle soup on Fear Factor he would win $10,000. What he failed to realize was that he forgot to sign page 16 on the episode contract and did not win any money and was sued by Campbell's soup for copyright infringement.

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What did the farmer say to the other farmer? We are both farmers.

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What did the boy say to his friend? "Hello!"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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