What did the farmer say to the woodchucks chucking his wood? Excuse me, not to be rude but i worked very hard splitting and stacking that wood and would appreciate it if you would stop throwing it in the water.

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Mary had a little lamb, But it couldn't stop her from being raped.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms.

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why did the US nuke japan besause sending chuck norris would be to cruel

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An owl and a squirrel where siting in a tree, watching a farmer go by. The owl then turned to the squirrel and said nothing... cos owls can't talk. The owl then eats the bird because it is a bird of prey

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What's the difference between a baby and a watermelon? One's fun to hit with a sledgehammer and the other is a watermelon.

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A blonde walked into a bar.

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Did it hurt when you fell from heaven, or have you been in a wheelchair all your life?

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why didnt the kid get anything for christmas? santa exploded

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What does a boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Cancer.

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My mother forgot to make me a sandwich today.

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Q: what do you call a camel with a garbage bag on its head? A: A ziploc baggie

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding an apple in your worm.

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What's worse than the holocaust? Two holocausts What's worse than two holocausts? Twilight

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Knock Knock? Who's there? EMS - your pregnant wife died it a car crash

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How do you make a sandwich? You don't, you have a girl do it for you.

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There once was a man from Peru. Who dreamed he was eating his shoe. I shot him in the head. With a bullet made of lead. So now he's dead. No more eating of shoes.

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What did Batman say to Robin just before they got in the bat mobile? Robin,get in the bat mobile.

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why was Lucy fat? Her BMI was over the recommended average.

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How do you kill a blonde? There are countless ways to complete such a task all of which have infinite variations.

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A family walks into a talent agency. It's a father, mother, son, daughter and dog. The father says to the talent agent, "We have a really amazing act. You should represent us." The agent says, "Sorry, I don't represent family acts. They're a little too cute." The mother says, "Sir, if you just see our act, we know you would want to represent us." The agent says, "OK. OK. I'll take a look." The father begins by juggling some balls. The mother pulls out her harmonica and begins playing "Dixie". The children and dog try and get the dog to jump through a hoop. For the longest time, the agent just sits in silence. Finally, he manages, "That's a hell of an act. What do you call it?" And the father says, "The Aristocrats!"

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Have you ever had Ethiopian food? No. Well you should really try some.

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How do you get a bunch of Jews in a car? You tell this family who happens to be of Jewish faith that they are going to be late for the birth of another family member's child. How do you get them out? Tell the mother had a miscarriage. This will make them promptly want to leave the care and grieve with the other family members for the lost child.

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there are two muffins in an oven. one says "its getting hot in here". the other says " oh my gosh!!! its a talking muffin!!!"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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