What was going through the minds of the Sandy Hook victims? Bullets.

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It's Christmas Eve and your entire family is gone for 12 hours to by you presents. What will you do while there gone? By the time you figured out what you will do you will hear a knock at your door. It's the police they are here to tell you your entire family was murdered during a shooting at the mall. The sad part is you will not receive your NEW Beats, your Xbox 1, or your make up.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? 7 commited statutory rape on a younger 5, gang banged 8 with 10 and 11, murdered 9, and was sentenced to jail for life.... eventually the case was dropped and 7 was let out early for community service. He told 6 he was coming for him 6 months later.... 6 was so terrified he didn't know what to do... he was living in fear... eventually he commited suicide by jumping off a cliff just off the coach of Palm Beach into the pacific ocean. His body was never found His family didnt get to say good bye... This is why 6 was afraid of 7

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Why is motorboating so much fun? Because they are unmatched for their speed and agility in the water.

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a man walks in to a bar he says "what can i get for a free beer" the bartender says "okay but first you have to make my donkey laugh" so he goes in there and makes it laugh and gets a free beer ant then the next day he goes in and says "what can i get for a free beer" the bartender says "okay but first you have to make my donkey cry" so he goes in there and makes the horse cry and the bartender says " i will give you a free beer but first tell me what you did to make my donkey laugh and cry" the man says " first to make the donkey laugh i told the donkey i had a bigger penis than him then to make him cry i showed him

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A man calls his wife, but she doesn't pick up. He comes home and shouts his wife's name, but no one responds. He walks upstairs and sees the bedroom door half-opened. He enters and sees his wife sleeping.

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What happens when you throw a midget off of a tall building? It dies and the people below get midget on them

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How many Mexicans does it take to change a lightbulb? None, for the task at hand is so simple, you should do it.

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I was going to write a racist joke but there was too many black people watching me.

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if life gives you lemons. squeeze one into your moms eye.

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Hey could I ask you a question? Yes Thanks

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What's more traumatising than watching your dad raping a man? Watching a man raping your dad.

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Why are ther so many black people in the NBA? Because culturally Basketball is a very popular sport among a lot of African Americans, thus providing a lot of African Amercans to play Basketball professionally

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Na na na na na Neo! Na na na na na na 'Sporin!

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Knock knock. Who's there? Frank. Frank who? Cut the shit, I'm being chased by a tiger!

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What do you call a paralyzed man on a fishing boat? Robert

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where was the heart of ocean found. madelain mcanns urn

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Two fish are in a tank. One is driving, the other is operating the gun. Two soldiers are in a tank. They both drown.

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What's the difference between a black guy and a bench. A bench is wooden while a black guy has a human body composed of mostly water.

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What do you get when you cross an owl and a bungie cord? My ass.

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there was a lesbian, a bi-sexual and a homosexual at a wine bar having a drink.......They had a great night

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What do a cow and a banana have in common? Neither of them is a police officer.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I need to go to the bathroom.

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What is just as real as a unicorn? World peace

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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