wHY DIDN'T THE HORSE FINISH COLLEGE? HIS GRANT RAN OUT AN HE COULDN'T GET ANOTHER STUDENT LOAN.

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What's for dinner tonight? Your mom's vagina.

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Why did the little girl fall off the swing? She didn't have any arms.

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Why is 5 the best number? Because it's alive!

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What do you call an Ethiopian with buck teeth? Lucky to have teeth.

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An irish man walks into a bar. He drinks responsibly, and leaves shortly afterward.

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knock knock who's there? doorbell repairman

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Why Didn't The Teenager Bring His Report Card Home to His Parents? Because He Was Murdered By Thugs Walking Home From School.

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http://i.imgur.com/BJsbT.jpg

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He never did because he's in KFC

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whats the worst part about being a black jew your black and jewish

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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What do you call double A's? Batteries

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Why do jews get their foreskin cut off? Because they're jewish.

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An Australian man walking in Manhattan is approached by another man who pulls out a switchblade and says, "give me your wallet or I'll stab you with this knife!" The Australian man hands over his wallet. A nearby police officer witnesses this the last moment of the mugging, arrests the criminal and returns the Australian's belongings.

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A family walks into a talent agency. It's a father, mother, son, daughter and dog. The father says to the talent agent, "We have a really amazing act. You should represent us." The agent says, "Sorry, I don't represent family acts. They're a little too cute." The mother says, "Sir, if you just see our act, we know you would want to represent us." The agent says, "OK. OK. I'll take a look." The family performs an array of disgusting sexual acts. For the longest time, the agent just sits in silence. Finally, he manages, "That's a hell of an act. What do you call it?" And the father says, "It has no name."

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Chicken is a funny word, and the road is a plot device.

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Why did the mean have to clean up the mass amount of dead bodies? Because he lost a game of rock-paper-scissors.

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What's worse than a bee sting? Two bee stings. What's worse than two bee stings? The Holocaust. What's worse than the Holocaust? Three bee stings.

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What happens if you fell off a 600 foot cliff? You die.

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Why do black people eat watermelon? Because it taste good.

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Why is there no aspirin in the jungle? Because aspirin is a man-made drug derived from salicylic acid, and it it is this that is extracted from willow bark, which used to be used by Cherokee Americans as a fever-reducer and pain-reliever.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Why don't you ask the chicken. I am sorry but I as a human being am totally incapable of understanding and communicating with chickens.

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A: What did the Orange say to the Mango? B: Sup Hommie?! A: Wtf.... (awkwardly walks away)

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops