Whats werst than taking candy from a baby. Throwing a baby off a cliff then eating the candy in fronts of its parents

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue If You Bend Over Some More I'll Eat That Booty Too

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What's funnier than the pope in a speedo? Humor is subjective, so answers vary from person to person.

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An under aged man walks into a bar. the bar tender forgets to ask for his ID and gives him a beer. That man was later fired.

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Why did Suzy Fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock Knock. Who's there? Not Suzy.

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Why did the two blondes decide to ride in one car? Because it's more environmentally friendly than taking two cars.

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Why couldn't Hellen Keller drive a car? Because she was a woman.

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Person 1- Ask me if I am a tree Person 2- Ok, are you a tree? Person 1- Nope

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What did the grape say when it got stepped on? Nothing, it's a grape and therefore unable to speak.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Black people are black They are inferior

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on a scale from a banana to a pound coin - how much do you like the works of antonio vivaldi?

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A Homosexual, a platypus, and a rubber spoon walk into a bar...

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Barack Obama, Mother Teresa and Stephen Hawkings had race. Who won? Barack Obama. This deduction can be made as Stephen Hawking is severely disabled by a motor neurone disease known as amyotrophic lateral sclerosis. Henceforth, he has very limited control over the majority of his body and is confined to a electric wheel chair. Thus, he could not participate competitively in the race. Moreover, Mother Teresa is dead. This unfortunate occurrence was caused by several myocardial infarctions in combination with pneumonia. Regardless of this, Mother Teresa's meek and frail build would slower her speed considerably; in comparison to Barack Obama's relatively athletic and robust frame. Nonetheless, President Obama is a smoker. Therefore, he may experience symptoms associated with emphysema during the race, causing him to retire. As such no-one would finish the race, leaving the spectators feeling very disappointed and empty.

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JOHN to MARY: Roses are red Violets are blue Sugar is sweet So are you MARY to JOHN: Roses are red Violets are blue Who are you? JOHN to MARY: Roses are red I'm your husband MARY to JOHN: No! JOHN to MARY: WHAT??? MARY to JOHN: Ex Awkward silence. Mary moves out the next day.

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1,2,3,4,5... 6.

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roses are red violets are blue i done you mom a favor by making you...banana and rice don't worry it'll taste just nice

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What's green and has wheels? Grass, I lied about the wheels.

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Two girls were taken away mysteriously in the night. The next day, no one cared because they were orphans.

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Why did the man order a mail order Asian bride? Because he was caucasian which meant females of his race had unrealistically high expectations of a partner due to various materialistic overtones that are constantly portrayed in their medie creating a society of over entitled women who think they are owed the earth.

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What do you get when you cross Jesus with James Woods? Crucifixion

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Why did the boy fall off the swing? Because a fridge hit him.

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What shakes and twitches and can be found at the sea bottom? A scuba diver running out of oxygen.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't.

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so a jew walks into a bar and leaves at 9:00 becuase he has work in the morning.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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