Waiter. there's a fly in my soup! I apologize, I'll bring you a new one immediately.

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What can a pizza do that a Jew can't? Pizzas can't do anything, so the answers are infinite.

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William wright is Gay

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What's the difference between a baby and a trampoline? I take off my shoes when i jump on a trampoline.

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what did the guy say to the other guy? nothing because right before he was going to say something he was hit by a truck and got knocked out for 11 hours and right before he was going to wake a plane crashed into the hospital and everybody died except for two gay guys.

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How do you make a little boy cry? You rape his dog

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Why was the anti joke funny? because it wasn't funny.

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A Chinese man, an American man, and a Mexican man are sitting in an airplane. When the flight attendant comes by with food, the Chinese and American both opt for pretzels, while the Mexican prefers crackers and makes his selection accordingly. The three sit back and enjoy their snacks separately.

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What do Michael Jackson and a T-Rex have in common? They're both dead.

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What's the difference between a Mustang and a sack of dead babies? I don't have a sack of dead babies in my garage.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient ability. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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Friends are like potatoes, when you eat them, they die.

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your mom is so ugly that she was made fun of in highschool so much that she now has social issues and a fear of close relationships which is why she left you and your father at age 5

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What did the bartender say to the three-legged Irishman? What can I get you?

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have Alzheimer's Roses are red...

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What is a black man's favorite food? It differs from person to person.

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How many dead babies does it take to paint a wall? Dead babies can't paint.

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Roses are red violets are blue... Only not really. Actually light is reflected off them and these colors show up soo....

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What do you call a big group of Chinese people on Mars? An extraordinary feat for the Chinese space program and a historic day in human history, where a particular country has set up the first human colony on another planet and we have proven to ourselves that our race is capable of interplanetary travel and can accomplish anything if we set our minds to it.

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Two horses were discussing their racing records. The first said, "In my whole life I had won ten races." The second horse says, "Well, I've won twelve of those!" A greyhound trotting by chimes in, "Not bragging guys, but in my career, I've won twenty!" "Unbelievable!" exclaimed both horses. "It's a talking dog!"

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what does michael jackson do to little boys? nothing, he's dead.

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What bird can lift the most? i do not know, I suggest asking an Ornithologist

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Hey, is that your corvette? No, I thought it was yours.

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A used condom filled with water and left on a radiator makes an ideal and inexpensive lava lamp.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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