Jack and Jill went up the hill, to fetch a pail of water. Jack fell down and broke his crown, and Jill came tumbling after. Up Jack got, and home did trot, as fast as he could caper, to old Dame Dob, who proceeded to get Jill convicted of attempted murder, as well as several millions of dollars for pain and suffering.

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So a guy walks into the doctors and say "Doctor it hurts when i poke my knee like this" the doctor says "Let me see your hand" the doctor squeezes the patients finger and the patient says "ow!" the doctor says "now poke you knee again" the patient pokes his knee and says "it still hurts" so the doctor comes to a conclusion and says " you dont have a broken kneecap you have a broken finger, stupid, now get out and leave me alone!"

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What did the cannibal order at McDonalds? Big Mac, extra pickle, hold the mayo.

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Why are plants green? Plants are green due to the chloroplast organelles found in their cells. These membrane bound organelles are exclusive to plant cells and are used to convert sun light to usable chemical energy. This energy is stored in the form of ATP molecules, or adenosine triphosphate. When one of the three phosphate groups of an ATP molecule is removed, the molecule releases the energy put into this bond and becomes ADP, or adenosine diphosphate. Throughout this process, the organelle fulfills its sole function and at the same time gives plants their green color our eyes perceive today.

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Where can I find a good Prostitute? Your Parents House.

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So I was sitting in traffic the other day... And I got run over.

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What's brown, black, and red all over? The burning cross on the lawn of a respectable African-American family.

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why can't you hear a pterodactyl go to the bathroom T H E R E ' R E A L L D E A D!!!

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A man walks into a bar and poops his pants. He left because of the embarrassment.

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When he was a little boy, what was Chaz Bono's favorite Cher song? Chaz Bono was never a little boy, he was a girl.

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Ask me if I'm a tree. Are you a tree? No.

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Why was the jew so happy? He won the lottery which at the time was 3.40 dollars

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What's the best time to go to the dentist? Whenever your appointment is scheduled.

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What's the difference between a black man and a gorilla? One is a black man and the other is a gorilla.

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Where does Elmo live? In Sesame Street.

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What's black and white and red all over? Obama covered in red paint.

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My friend told me to jump right off a cliff That's impossible since this cliff goes left...

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Why are fire trucks red Well fire trucks have 4 wheels, and they have 8 people in them, 4+8, is 12, there are 12 inches in a foot, a foot is a ruler, Queen Elizabeth was a ruler, Queen Elizabeth was a boat, boats sail the seven seas, fish are in the seven seas, fish have fins, the Finns defeated the Russians, Russians are red, And that is why fire trucks are red.

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Roses are Gray, Violets are Gray, I am color-blind, I hate my life

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learn. advance!

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I heard that the Boston marathon was a BLAST!

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What do you call a drummer without a girlfriend? Homeless

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Roses Are Blue I Have A Gun And Ill Sout You!

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Q:What's the greatest part about having sex with twenty five year old girls? A: There's 20 of them

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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