I walked in ony my daughter masturbating. The whole ordeal was very uncomfortable, but I sat her down at the dining table to discreetly explain the necessity of locking doors.

If you saw two guys named Hambone and Flippy, which one would you think liked dolphins the most? I'd say Flippy, wouldn't you? You'd be wrong, though. It's Hambone.

2 Penises

brock has small hands for a small job

There once was a student named Bob. Every morning he would rush to his job. But one day there was rain, He slipped in front of his train, There used to be a student named Bob.

What did the carrot say to the apple? Sandals

Q: Why was the boy so sad? A: His parents were just killed in a car wreck, therefore orphaning him and his five brothers and sisters and leaving them with no money, food, or shelter due to lack of steady income and the fact that their house had been foreclosed on.

twenty three roaches walk into a bar. the bar is evacuated due to insects.

Why is it that all cats dislike flying saucers? The strange noises and lights probably frighten them, as they don't understand the concepts of extra-terrestrial intelligence and space travel.

Why did the gorilla fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

What's 9+10? 19.

what should you say when your mates nan is in hospital with a broken leg??? ha ha my nan can stand up shes just genetically better

how many baby's does it take to paint a wall? Depends on how hard you throw them

Let me guess, you where really ready to Not not tell me that.

Hitler: honey what's for dinner? Hitlers wife: a jewwwsyy steak

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because his farmer was abusive.

What did the black guy say to the japanese ninja with super fighting skills? Nothing, because he neck was sliced before he could.

A penguin is walking through the snow, and comes across a polar bear with a hat on. He stops and stares at the polar bear for a second and then compliments the polar bear on his hat. The polar bear smiles and promptly consumes the penguin, building up a fat layer for the coming Winter.

What is black and white and sleeps a lot? A tired zebra.

What's worse than the holocaust? An open-minded black man.

What dinosaur makes honey? The Bee Rex.

Whats worse than a pile of dead babies? A live on at the bottom.

when a friend comes over and says: hey, do you have a bathroom??? NO!!! I shit in my yard!!!!!

why did the cow say "moo"? because he's a cow and that's what cows say.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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