Whats gets stiff when you have sex with it? A dead body.

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What's green and has wheels? Grass. I lied about the wheels.

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Knock Knock Whos there? You You Who? Who You Oh im Jim.

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Q) What is black, white, and red all over? A) A zebra that just became the kill of a hungry carnivore

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What is Oedipus' favorite tv show! How I Met Your Mother

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It's valentines today! My girlfriend died.

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Two gay guys walk into a bar. You think the second one would notice...

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im typkiking wifrh myv troes. Sorry, i was typing with my toes.

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What did Johnny get for Christmas? Nothing. Johnny is Jewish.

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How many vikings does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Probably just one, though I'd imagine it hard to teach someone from the 9th century C.E. how to, let alone explain electricity.

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Why was the dog barking... Because billy fell down the well

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What's the difference between a pizza and a jew. One's a tasty delicious snack and the other one's a pizza.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because It was dead Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first one. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer Pressure

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Teacher: which vegetable makes your eyes water? Student: Any vegetable. Teacher: How? Student: Just rub any vegetable in your eyes and see what happens.

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Knock, knock! Who's there? orange? orange who? orange ya glad i didn't say your family was dead.

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Three men of different ethnic and socio-economic upbringings enter a pub. A strange situation befalls them or a question is posed. The first two respond in turn, in manners typical of their profession or educational background. The third, however, either draws on his specific expertise and responds so as to outwit the others, or makes an egregious and pun-filled blunder, leaving himself open to mockery by his peers.

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Why did the koala fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the tree fall over? The koala forgot to let go.

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your mom is so fat, that your father is no longer attracted to her and it is tearing your family apart.

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What's the difference between an elephant and a plum? What do you mean what's the difference?!?! One of them is a fucking elephant!

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How do you know a black person is in your house? You see him in your house.

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Did you hear the one about the avalanche that crashed into the bar? It was such a tragedy.

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Doctor Doctor! I think i'm epileptic! I'm not the Doctor, I'm the receptionist. You're a hypochondriac, now wait in the Que, like everybody else Mrs. Davis.

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What do you call a Muslim flying a plane? Still a pilot.

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How many cows does it take to screw in a light bulb? Either one super cow or none because cows don't even have apposable thumbs

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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