What do Australians and New Zealanders have against pods anyway?

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Why did the boy cry? His Parents died.

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Listen, I do not really care anymore, I admit it, I dont mind screwing with people, but if your name is Tifa, my name is lets see... Solid Snake, yeah, but call me big boss. Listen, be honest with me, if you do not trust me, just do not give me a random name, Tifa as in Tifa Lockheart? Final Fantasy? Wake up, girl/guy, you are losing your touch at this.

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Two straight men walk into a gay bar and promptly forget why they went to a gay bar when they are both clearly heterosexual.

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Roses are green,violets are blue,i'm high as ****,is that perfume or glue?

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Wanna know how to confuse a black guy? Give him a fried chicken sandwich with mayo on it.

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What did Jesus say as he walked on water and people went like WOHOO! OMG WE ARE TOTALLY GOING TO CHISEL THIS INTO JEWTUBE SO EVERYONE CAN SEE! "BEHOLD AS I WALK UPON THIS WATER WHILE ALL OF YOU HAVE FAILED BEFORE ME! ONLY I CAN WALK OF THIS WATER OF FROZEN WITHOUT SLIPPING! Nero: Because go fuck yourself asshole. Lol... Jewtube was not as widely available as youtube so yeah... Walking on ice without falling over was a big thing back then... You know such as OMG! EATING BREAD AND DRINKING WINE! WOOOOOOAAAAH SCIENCE! AND BURNING BUSHES SPOKE AND... Moral: "Ill be back, you know, just to annoy you, and because I want to, a real man needs no other reason, and that is why you fuckers need so many of them"

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A man buys a kitten from the store. He gets home, takes it out of its cage, and realizes that it wasn't the kitten he wanted. He then returns to the store and exchanges for the kitten he originally wanted, but then decides to keep both because he is feeling particularly hungry.

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Every human being has some kind of penis <3

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Q.Why did Beethoven kill his chicken? A. It had contracted a serious illness. He had killed it as an act of mercy.

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Beans, beans good for the heart, the more you eat the more likely you are to grow into a healthy young man/woman with low risk of heart disease.

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Paragnormal Activity: The confused sequels. My wife literally had an heart attack 5/5! -Awesome reviews. I am going to need therapy for the rest of my life! 5 out of 5 stars! -Star reviews THIS MOVIE KILLED MY DOG! 4.5/5 -Petlovers I literally died! 10/10 -Rotten Potatoes.

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What do you call a horny blond on the corner? A prostitute

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What do you call Batman with a knife in his chest? Dead

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Yo mamma's so fat, we are all seriously concerned for her health.

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Whats Brown And Sticky?! My Shit!

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How do you make a person cry? You bury them alive.

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Penis. (Note: if you get this you have a dirty ass)

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This joke is not funny, So don't read it.

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why was the kid sitting in a wooden chair? Because at the early age of four he was diagnosed with cancer and genital warts!

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A guy went to McDonalds and asked for a cheeseburger: —Can I have a cheeseburguer? —No

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What do you call a Muslim flying a plane? A pilot

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HOW LONG is a Chinese name?

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1 out of every 3 relationships someone is cheating, I wonder if it was my wife or my girlfriend

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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