Roses are red, Violets are blue, I´ll give anything to be screw by you.

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what is worst than 1 bee stings two bee stings what is worst than two bee stings holocaust what is worse than three bee stings getting raped by a giant scorpion

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MAGHBERRY !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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What did the blind, deaf and dumb lady name her kid? Sebastion.

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Boy 1: Hey do you want my last chewing gum? Boy 2: Yeah please! Boy 1: Same. The boy continues to eat the chewing gum and finishes his shit wandering why the boy walked into the same cubicle as him.

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What did catwoman say to batman? meow.

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Velcro. What a rip off.

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What's the hardest part of eating a vegetable? The wheelchair.

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What is white And taste like sheep A sheep

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Why did the chicken get taken into the kitchen? If u dont get this you need to go b ack to school

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Why does Michael Jackson like twenty eight year olds? Michael Jackson is dead.

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walk into your friend’s house and say “what’s up with the dead guy out front?” (you have to murder a person for this joke to work)

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Q: what did one guy say to another guy? A: I don't know!

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What does the Fawkes say? "Remember, remember, the 5th of November..."

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Why didn't Tom have to pay for his ride to the funeral? Because he was dead and in a coffin.

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whats the difference between a pile of dead babies and a red corvette? i don't have a red corvette in my garage

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Q. How many infants does it take to paint a wall? A. Depends how hard you throw them...

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Why did the car catch fire? It was parked in Ferguson, MO

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Why is the fat kid on the ground crying? Because I hit him with a shovel

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A man is kidnapped shortly after being diagnosed with a new type of cancer in his left hand and is also left handed. When he is dropped off after being kidnapped it turns out a doctor hired the kidnappers to bring him a patient. The doctor notices the tumor is still in a stage where it hasn't spread to the rest of his body. The docter then claims to have a way to remove his cancer with minimal damage to the rest of him. So the doctor pulls out a laser sword and cuts off the man's left hand and says,"There, no more vancer for you!"

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how do you get a blonde one-handed woman out a tree? wave

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Why did the boy not wake up on time for school? He was fucking dead.

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ROSES ARE RED, VIOLETS ARE BLUE, WITHOUT MY HEART I CANNOT LOVE YOU

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I scream, You scream, The police come, It's awkward.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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