this is not a drill.

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Why is NO ONE on Facebook when I AM?! Because you have no friends... on Facebook... ... Wow.

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A man walks into a bar and asks the bartender if he'd would like to make a wager. The bartender replies, "no."

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What do you call said black man flying an airplane? A pilot.

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What's more traumatising than watching your dad raping a man? Watching a man raping your dad.

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A priest a rabbi and a minister are all standing at the gates of heaven. Us mortal beings can only conjecture what might've have taken place.

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a man walk into a bakery, he sais... may i have a loaf of bread....

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What's green and would kill you if it fell on you? A golf course

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What did the three blind mice say to the priest? I'm blind :(

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't. It was already in the oven.

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whenever you come out of emma browns bedroom

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Yo momma so fat she should be concerned of contracting Coronary Heart Disease, high blood pressure, type 2 diabetes, abnormal blood fats, metabolic syndrome, cancer, osteoarthritis, sleep apnea, or even obesity hypoventilation syndrome

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A guy walks into a bar. He has a couple beers, gets in his car and goes home. He got arrested on the way because it is illegal to drink and drive.

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What do you call a black man on the moon? An astronaut.

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Keira Knightley walked in to a coffee shop. The man behind the counter said "Wow, you're Keira Knightley!". Keira replied, "No, actually I am just one of your many masturbatory fantasies. You are currently staring at an old lady that just asked you for a latte". "Oh, by the way. You are drooling and have an erection."

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Roses are, blue, Violets are red, Screw poetic forms, I wish you were dead

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The chicken had just received a call from his family, hearing that his father had just been butchered. He was approaching the farm when an 18-wheeler approached. The tire flew off, hit a candy store, candy flew in the chicken's mouth, and it died of diabetes. However, right before the chicken died he finally crossed the road, not knowing he would get shot by his farmer. The chicken managed to survive the shooting to his right kidney, wiggled to his family, and died in front of his wife.

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Where do you study to get a good education? A library, at home, or at another quiet location where it is easy to concentrate.

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Three women are sitting in a bar. One is drinking beer, one is drinking wine and one is drinking vodka. Which one is the widow? The one whose husband is dead.

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A. THERE'S SOMETHING ON YOUR FACE B. WHAT?!? *PUNCH* A. IT WAS PAINNNNNNNNN

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This joke is not funny, So don't read it.

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Penis. (Note: if you get this you have a dirty ass)

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1 out of every 3 relationships someone is cheating, I wonder if it was my wife or my girlfriend

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HOW LONG is a Chinese name?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops