why did the kid fall off the swing? someone threw a fridge at him

How do you annoy a farmer? Shoot his wife.

don't make holocaust jokes, my grandfather died in the holocaust, he fell out of the birds nest shooting Jews.

knock knok whos there? Jacob Jacob who? U know, your friend!

Why did the boy throw the clock out the window? He was severely depressed.

A black man, a jewish man and a white man walk into a bar. The black man shoots the bartender, the white man takes the money and the jewish man holds the customers hostage.

Why is Dominic's nick name big D? Because the first letter in his name is D.

Q: How do you make scrach paper? A: Take a paper and scrach it.

Why did the girl have twins she was raped

What did the boy with no legs get for Christmas? A nice sweater.

How many Jews can you fit in a Volkswagon? 2 in the front seat, 3 in the back.... and that's it because the holocaust never happened.

What do chinese people eat? Chinese food.

How many dead babies can you fit in my car? None, I don't allow anyone to put dead babies in my car.

Where is one place everyone eventually goes to rest? A cemetery.

Whats the difference between 10 dead babies and 8 dead babies? 2 dead babies.

Why was the girl crying? - Someone pooped on her face.

Poop

What's black and white and red all over? A modern abstract painting

Knock Knock. Who's There? Look through your peephole, you lazy bastard.

What did the lawyer say to a lawyer? We're both lawyers.

Why did the chicken cross the road? I can't really remember the reason, it was about 5 years ago and a lot of things have happened since.

After pursuing a speeding vehicle for 10km at speeds ranging from 120 - 160km/h, the police officer managed to stop the driver. The driver of the vehicle rolled down the window and asked, "What seems to be the problem officer?" to which the police officer replied, "It sounds like one of your cylinders is firing incorrectly, you have a fairly large amount of carbon build-up on and around your exhaust pipe."

Roses are Grey Violets are Grey I am a dog.

What did the football coach say to fire up his team? Nothing. He was not legally allowed to say anything to his team as they were being locked out by the coach's boss, the owner of the team and anything that he said to them could lose him his job.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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