?u?? ????? ????? '?? p??? o? u?op ?p?sdn s??? p?dd??? no? ??

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A devout Christian dies– Peter winks as his soul passes through the impenetrable Gates of Heaven. Everyone is gay and– like, gay as in happy– Homosexuals aren't allowed in.

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Why did the little girl fall off the swing? Because at the climax point in the swing, gravity is making a much larger affect on you because you are pulling farther away from the earth as well as positioning your body in a way where it is awkward and unstable to support your body, which greatly increases the chance of you falling off and landing on the ground.

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Did you hear the one about Steven Hawking into a bar? I havn't either, but its probably a hoot.

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They didn't stop pulling my hair i didn't stop pulling the trigger

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what do you call a middle-aged man with one blue suede shoe on, purple hair, pink skin, white eyes, no toenails, 67 fingers, 1 eye, a pocket watch, no clothes, and 8978967564567898765432345678765321234568909876543w245678909876543456098765323456-0987654367890-098765435678-09876543456789098765432345678909876543456789098765435678909876543234567898765323456890-987654345678900987654323456890987653234567890765434568909876543456899876543456789098765434568909876545678987654345678987654567898765434567898765478579458765456789876543223456789876543098765432123456898765432678987654230987653-098765434567898765434898765434567898765456787654567876 butt cheeks? bob.

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A man goes to the pound to adopt a dog and sees a very shaggy dog and says "WOW! Thats a shaggy dog I'll take it!" So the man takes home his new dog and decides to enter the dog in the towns anual shaggy dog contest. and wins. After winning the town shaggy dog contest he moves up to the county shaggy dog contest. theres no competition. Now the man and his dog enter into the state shaggy dog contest, the states shaggiest dogs are all competing. the man wins. Finally the man and his dog are in the prestigious national shaggy dog contest. The judge walks up to the man and says "your dog isn't very shaggy"

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Why did the guy crash his car? Because he didn't want to crash his truck.

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What worse than a bee sting? Two bee stings. What worse than two bee stings? The Holocaust What worse than the Holocaust? Three bee stings

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what is green an invisible? this cabbage

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What made your girlfriend laugh to death? You dropped my pants.

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Justin Bieber hits puberty

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A White, Black, Hispanic, and an Asian man are stranded on a deserted island. They become best friends, proving race should not be a divisive factor in any community.

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What would you do if I ripped your face off? Bleed to death.

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what do you get when you cross a dinosaur and a spaceship? a dinosaur spaceship

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What's worse than cancer? Nothing.

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Q: What was the last thing to enter the bug's mind as it flew into the windshield? A: His back legs.

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It's a bird! No, it's a plane! No, it's actually a bird. You can see its wings flapping.

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Why do black people have the whitest teeth? Because they brush regularly.

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Q: Why did Grandma fall down the stairs? A: Because she had a brain hammerage

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An itsy bitsy spider went up the water spout Down came my dick, and forced the spider out

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What is black, white, and red all over? something that just so happens to be seen by the color blind.

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Did you hear the joke about the deaf guy ? He didn't.

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What did the pony say when it lost its voice? Nothing. Ponies are incapable of speech.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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