How do you get rich? Cut chunks off a fat person with a cleaver and sell them to china.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Roses are lamp, Violets are squirrel, I have ADHD, LET'S DANCE!

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What does a gay horse eat? Other gay horses.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Why doesn't God like fruitcake? Because God doesn't exist.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Once upon a time there was a boy who got ran over by a truck. No one cared.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

A black guy and his black girlfriend are in a car. Who's driving? Their driver. The black guy has a very prosperous career and their life is at the envy of many.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Three men are stranded, mid-ocean, in a small rowboat. They realize quickly that their imminent demise is slowly creeping into the forefront of their consciousnesses. Just as all hope seem to be lost, one man noticed an island covered in luscious foliage about five hundred yards away. A problem reared it's head as it became apparent that an unrelenting riptide was dragging the boat further and further from the shore and, in turn, salvation. It became further apparent that the men would have to abandon their rickety rowboat and swim the rest of the way. The first man bravely jumps into the vast uncertainty of the ocean and attempts to swim to shore. He is met by a large shark that promptly severs his arm from his body. A bloody mess, he manages to touch down on the sandy beach. The second man, more reluctantly, also jumps in. He balanced his chances: "100% death in the boat vs. uncertainty in the ocean." Like the first man, the second man meets the shark's vicious bite. His leg is severed and he too drags himself, bloody, to the warm embrace of sand and freedom. The third man, sure that he would be bitten also, jumps into the ocean and swims to shore. Alas! The third man arrived on the island unscathed and completely fine. Perplexed, the first two men asked the third why the shark did not attack him. The third man simply smiled and replied..."what do you expect me for, a typewriter?"

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Why didn't the chicken cross the road? Because he was content where he was.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

What happens when you drive down the road? you get to the end of the road

thumb_up thumb_down -22

How many Legos can you stick up your nose? I'm sure its very painful and considered stupid so don't try it.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

the fat boy named biggins ate a twinkie, a man named scruffy came along and shot biggins, now biggins has no nose

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Two muffins are in an oven. They don't speak to each other because muffins do not have the ability to make speech. After being in the oven for several minutes at 375 degrees, they are removed, left to cool, and were eaten. They were good.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

what happens when steven hawking walks into a bar? everyone cheers at the miracle of science.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

You know what they say about big shoes? Big socks. You know what they say about big socks? Big feet. You know what they say about big feet? Big hands. You know what they say about big hands? Cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

How many immature teenagers does it take to change a light bulb? Ya mum.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

What was Hellen Keller's favorite color? A:blue

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Why did the clock say 10:30? It was a digital clock!

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Roses are red Violets are blue i have a gun get in the van

thumb_up thumb_down -22

You're Mother's so fat, she sat on a chair, and it broke.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Get on your knees Ho

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Why did the clown drink all the sweet wine? Because he was an alcoholic.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

How many Jews does it take to fill a shower? As many as it does to fill an ash tray.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

A school bus full of orphans falls of a cliff.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

how many girlfriends does robert dupra have? none becomes his sister doesn't count trololololol

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops