What are the similarities between aaron ash and a cow? they both have 7 stomachs.

A man walks into the doctor's office and says "I'm not feeling to good doc." and the doctor says "Thats because you have a fatal brain tumor and probably don't have too long to live."

When life gives you melons you may be dyslexic.

What do you call a black man at KFC? A customer.

melons are berries, tomatoes are fruit, being a smart-ass isn't that good.

Roses are yellow Violets are carpet.. Get it...?

my name is piare (peeair) because my balder is empty

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

My son won the lottery. I shot him so I could have the money.

Knock Knock I'm sorry but the new don't ask don't tell laws require me to not answer but do feel free to come in for some tea.

What's the funniest thing about the holocaust? Nothing it wasn't a joke

Did you hear about Big Chief Running Water? Probably not. Indoor plumbing was invented after Europeans murdered his ancestors.

What do you call a muffin with frosting? A cupcake

how did the man die he didnt

HahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahhahahahahahahhahahahahahhahahahahahahahahhaahhahahahhahahaahhahahaahhahahahahahahhaahhahaahhahahahaahhahaahahaHahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahhahahahahahahhahahahahahhahahahahahahahahhaahhahahahhahahaahhahahaahhahahahahahahhaahhahaahhahahahaahhahaahahaHahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahhahahahahahahhahahahahahhahahahahahahahahhaahhahahahhahahaahhahahaahhahahahahahahhaahhahaahhahahahaahhahaahahaHahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahhahahahahahahhahahahahahhahahahahahahahahhaahhahahahhahahaahhahahaahhahahahahahahhaahhahaahhahahahaahhahaahahaHahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahhahahahahahahhahahahahahhahahahahahahahahhaahhahahahhahahaahhahahaahhahahahahahahhaahhahaahhahahahaahhahaahahaHahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahhahahahahahahhahahahahahhahahahahahahahahhaahhahahahhahahaahhahahaahhahahahahahahhaahhahaahhahahahaahhahaahahaHahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahhahahahahahahhahahahahahhahahahahahahahahhaahhahahahhahahaahhahahaahhahahahahahahhaahhahaahhahahahaahhahaahahaHahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahhahahahahahahhahahahahahhahahahahahahahahhaahhahahahhahahaahhahahaahhahahahahahahhaahhahaahhahahahaahhahaahaha - Louis

Knock Knock Knock Knock Knock Knock Knock Knock Meanwhile in the basement...an elderly man, who lives a lone and whose children lead their own lives and dont have much time for him, lies on the ground unable to move after having falling down the stairs. He has been there for 2 days. He is frightened and confused, he hears someone knocking and his hopes perk up, he tries to call but due to lack of water his mouths is too dry to do so. He sobs in frustration. Knock Knock [Silence] The old man cries, aware of his fate.

A woman was strolling around town when she turned into a dark alley. She was cold and scared. Suddenly a ferocious looking man jumped out with a knife. The end.

Why couldn't the fan turn on? Because it was broken.

I <3 Hitler

My uncle was involved in 9/11... He called me before the plane crashed into the twin towers, his final words were so comforting... "ALLAH AKBAR!!!"

Doctor, I've caught a cold. Take a Halls.

Whats the difference between a woman and a fridge? A fridge doesn't fart when you take your meat out!

Roses are red Violets are blue Actually, now that i think of it, roses come in many colors And violets are actually violet in color, thus the name

What's funnier than 3 midgets in a treehouse? A talented comedian.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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