Knock, knock Who's there? It's me Me who? Just open your damn door funny guy it's freezing out here I don't get it

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What do you get when you mix a turtle and a dog An animal

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Q. How many people use MySpace? A. Pfft who uses MySpace

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because Macy's was having a giant sale.

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What do you call a black man with an afro? Whatever his name happens to be.

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Me: What day is it? Rebecca Black: Tuesday

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Why did the guy have one shoe? Because he took one shoe off at a time

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What is black, white, and red all over? The Wall

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What do you do when you go downstairs in the middle of the night and see your VCR floating in the middle of the living room? Run and cower in fear in this seemingly impossible situation.

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What do you call man who travels on foot? a pedestrian

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Your playing NBA 2k12 and some one steals the man your covering and you scream "THAT'S MY MAN!" what sounds wrong in this situation?

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what do you call the head-less man sitting on your porch? By what ever his name is!!

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how do you keep a bunch of black kids from jumping on the bed? your real firm with them and tell them someone may hurt themselves if they don't stop with the horseplay..

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A raptor and a Tyrannosaurus Rex walk into a bar. Everyone runs for their lives as the dinosaurs ate everyone who was too slow.

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What happened to the boy who stalked the pretty girl? His father raped him and he died in a house fire induced by his overwhelmingly sick love for the taliban

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Did you hear about that anthony weiner guy. He is very depressed, and your mother has cancer.

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Q. what do you tell a woman with two black eyes? A. nothing you done told her twice already

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How high is the grass in Germany? Approximately the same height as the grass in America.

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Why did the man die? because he hit his head and drowned

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A skeleton walks into a bar. He orders a beer and a mop.

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Whats worse then biting into an apple and finding a worm? Biting into an apple and finding half a worm. Wats worse then biting into an apple and finding half a worm? Biting into an eggplant and finding half a worm, as eggplants are usually more expensive so you will have wasted more money and would probably not be willing to eat the rest. And eggplants taste like shit.

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What do you call a big group of Chinese people on Mars? An extraordinary feat for the Chinese space program and a historic day in human history, where a particular country has set up the first human colony on another planet and we have proven to ourselves that our race is capable of interplanetary travel and can accomplish anything if we set our minds to it.

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Why do blonde girls like penis? Because it tastes good

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Kris- "Hey! Ask me if I'm a tree! Kait&Alyssa- ".....Are you a tree?...." Kris- "No.(:"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops