Can we still mine for gold in the American River? No, anyone seen mining for gold is considered a hobo and all the gold is cleared out by random people in the 17 century

thumb_up thumb_down -18

what did the african boy get for christmas - not food

thumb_up thumb_down -18

A train poops its pants.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

A burglar broke into a house one night. He picked up a CD player to place in his sack and a strange, disembodied voice echoed from the dark, saying, "Jesus is watching you." He nearly jumped out of his skin, clicked his flashlight off, and froze. When he heard nothing more, he shook his head, clicked the light on, and began searching for more valuables. Just as he pulled the stereo out so he could disconnect the wires, he heard, "Jesus is watching you." Freaked out, he shined his light around frantically, looking for the source of the voice. Finally, in the corner of the room, his flashlight beam came to rest on a parrot. "Did you say that?" he hissed at the parrot "Yep," the parrot confessed, then squawked, "I'm just trying to warn you." The burglar relaxed. "Warn me, huh? Who in the world are you?" "Moses," replied the bird. "Moses?" the burglar laughed. "What kind of people would name a bird Moses?" "Devout Semites," the parrot replied.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Thats a real shame. How come your eyes are red to begin with? You can use hypnosis to change the color, but if you never learned how, I am not gonna teach you.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Why can't Helen Keller drive? She is both blind and deaf, and doing so would put others in danger.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Q: How do you solve a problem like Maria. A: You kill her. You kill Maria.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Q: What is the differenc between a lamborghini and a pile of dead babys? A: I dont have a lamborghini my garage.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Your mama is so fat. Just look at her.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

2 men were friends 1 went to hell The other went to heaven

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Human: Are you a frayed knot? Frayed knot: I'm afraid so.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Q: What do you call a kid with no arms and an eye patch? A: His name.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

How many light bulbs does it take to screw a blonde? She said she can do 3

thumb_up thumb_down -18

SUCK MY 29 AND A HALF FOOT LONG DICK BITCH JUST KIDDING............ IT IS 69 FEET LONG GIGADY

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Roses are red, violets are blue, I have Tourette's, PENIS.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

If Jimmy in New York has 2 apples, and Tommy in Denver has 4 apples, what is the mass of the sun? 1.989E30 kg.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

An Asian Man Has His Eyes Wide Open

thumb_up thumb_down -18

What happens if you go one louder? Nothing because you can't

thumb_up thumb_down -18

knock knock come in!

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Why did the chicken cross the road? The farmer left the gate open, letting all his livestock escape, and crushing his prospects of trying to keep his family fed.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

if you have 2 apples and 3 oranges in one hand, and 4 oranges and 1 apple in the other, what do you have? very large hands.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

What's worse than a spilled ice cream cone? 2 spilled ice cream cones. What's worse than 2 spilled ice cream cones? 3 spilled ice cream cones. What's worse than 3 spilled I've cream cones? The Holocaust. What's worse than the Holocaust? 4 spilled ice cream cones.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

What is worst about the great white shark? It's hundreds of sharp teeth, strong tail, or subtle racism? Probably the teeth.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

What is a Mexicans favorite sport? Tennis.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops