A man walks into a bar and sees an attractive blonde. He is afraid of talking to her so he goes home and masterbates himself to sleep.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Knock Knock... Who's there? The FBI, you're going to jail. Really? No.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

What do you call a alcaholic walking down the street..... Roadkill

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Why was Susie crying? There was a frog stapled to her face.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

you gay?

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Know knock Who's there The fat lady off her medicine ball Call 000

thumb_up thumb_down -26

What did the poor boy get for Christmas? Orphaned.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Q: What does a bunny and a plum have in common? A: They're both purple except the bunny.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

what did the little boy say when the teacher asked what he wanted to be when he grew up? Adolf Hitler

thumb_up thumb_down -26

roses are red violets are blue clean up that **** or no sex 4 u

thumb_up thumb_down -26

find the mistake in this sentence: Sadam Hussein: "hello" mistake: Sadam Hussein said hello!

thumb_up thumb_down -26

why does the guy jack off to black on black porn? because he's black

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Q.What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? A.Finding seventeen worms in your apple.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

what did Stephen Hawking say to the prositute? nothing, because he has a disability which renders him unable to speak

thumb_up thumb_down -26

A construction worker walks into a bar. He says "Ow! That hurt!" And walked in the opposite direction to the manager to complaint about the obvious health code violations of this site.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Roses are red Violets are blue Daisies are yellow Trust me, I'm a florist.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

What happens when you finish a bottle of Sprite? You finish it

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Stoner Student: "Imagine if El Nino and La Nina got together and started a family and had little Los Ninos." Class Nerd: "Yeah."

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Dan was friends with Dick. Dick likes to give massages to Dan. Dan's favorite is Dickie's special mixture. He will remember Dick, his favorite personal assisatant for life. CREEPER

thumb_up thumb_down -28

The ability to live the life of a dead person.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

A black man and a Mexican are in a car. Who's driving? The cop. The two men were best friends who had taken off from their law firm. Alex had recently gone through a divorce and John decided to take him on a trip backpacking across Europe. It started raining and an off-duty police officer picked them up and took them to a nearby hotel for drinks. The friends had a wonderful trip. But Alex never got over Jenny leaving him. 3 months later John found him dead in his home by auto-erotic asphyxiation.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

There once was a plain Cheerio. He has a decent life with a low paying job and an apartment. One day, he decided to make his life more fun and started going to parties. He met some women and had a good time. He was happier and was soon promoted at work. The next day, he woke up and tasted himself, only to discover that he was now a Honey-nut Cheerio. He continued to go to parties and met a girl that eventually became his girlfriend. He became a manager at work and moved into an expensive condo. The next day, he woke up and tasted himself and was a Frosted Cheerio. He then quit his job and opened a club, where he became the most popular Cheerio in town. All guys wanted to be him, girls with him. At one party, his girlfriend asked him for some punch. He went to the kitchen but couldn't find any. There was no punch-line.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

What do you call a Mexican in a kitchen? A chef.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops