Roses are red violets are blue suck my **** and I'll **** you too

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What do you call a black man on the moon? An astronaut.

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how did i know i had a new puppy?...... i found out when i was scraping it off my truck tire

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I was Born ready I was born naked.

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There was once a little boy... Boy: Daddy, I am so proud of you that when I grow up I want to be just like you! God: Son how dareth thou! That is a horribleth and shameful wish! I just called the adoption agency thy areth noteth my... er.. sonneth anymoreth! NOW GO TO HELL! Oh, and you get same powers as I by the way, just for Good measure or something, except I can destroy you whenever I want, I just do not want to because your evil will hopefully make me look good in comparison after I rid the world of the first testament anyways :P Boy: Yay? :( Where is hell by the way? Moral: That little boy grew up to become... SUPERMAN! While Satan never discovered what hell was since its a concept added by corrupt priests around the 1700`s in order to scare people into following their God instead.

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I would, but I see an older version of the kid, that suffered so much pain and agony.

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why did the mokey fall out of the tree because it was dead.

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Q:What's the difference between my refrigerator and the trunk of my car? A: There isn't a spare tire in my refrigerator.

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why did the zombie eat bob because bob was delicious

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how did Andrew meet adele He was working as a stableboy

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Yo mamma is so skinny, she has developed anorexia, a serious eating disorder, which not only affects her, but also the ones that she loves and cares about.

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Did you hear about the guy who lost his whole left side??? Yeah he's all right now!!!

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knock knock who's there? Madeline McCann really? no

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Q: What did the kid with no arms get for christmas? A: A set of Legos

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what do abortion and a coat hanger have in common? they both contain 4 vowels

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Anti-jokes are funny.

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An Irish guy, a black guy, and an Asian guy walk into a bar. They all caught the plague and died.

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What 2 differences does a potato have in common? They both have very thin skin.

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Why couldn't the black guy vote? He was only 17.

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What's black, white and red all over? A cow after slaughter.

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What did Timmy say when the bus crashed? Nothing, it was a horrible crash, he died like everyone else. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Timmy.

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Why are there so many jokes about germans on Anti-Joke? Because the Germans epitomize the flavour of anti-jokes perfectly and they have the whole nazi history thing going on which is ripe ground for many an anti-joke

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Thank you Jesus, for this wonderful meal we have tonight. De nada.

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what's mouthwatering and smells like fish? salmon

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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