What is the difference between a black man and a burnt pizza? -Nothing there both black.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Continents are large islands.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

In 1284, while the town of Hamelin was suffering from a rat infestation, a man dressed in pied clothing appeared, claiming to be a rat-catcher. He loyally promised the townsmen a solution for their problem with the rats. The townsmen in appreciation and glad to get rid of the infestation promised to pay him for the removal of the rats, they were looking forward to being left in peace. The man pleased with their decision accepted, and played a mystical musical pipe to lure the rats with a joyous song into the Weser River, where all but one drowned. Despite his renowned success, the people reneged on their promise and refused to pay the rat-catcher the full amount of money. The man left the town angry and upset the people had betrayed his kindness, he did however vow to return some time later, seeking revenge. On Saint John and Paul's day while the inhabitants were happily sat in church, he played his pipe yet again, dressed in green, like a hunter, this time attracting the young and joyful children of Hamelin. One hundred and thirty boys and girls followed him out of the town, skipping in song as they went, where they were lured into a cave. The events that followed are now known as the 1284 mass child massacrer, in which all 130 children were raped and savagely tortured and killed one by one, each viscously taped and recorded for the pipe pipers satisfaction, where a copy of each tape was sent to their corresponding parents, this was before their bodies turned up dangling from a tree and the bottom of the village, all 130 of them unrecognisable from decomposition and mutilation the pipe piper had inflicted.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What did the Catholic Priest say to Chris Hanson? Nothing. He attempted to flea, and was quickly taken down by law enforcement. He was then detained and processed and charged with Intent to commit statutory rape with a minor under the age of 14. He's still awaiting trial.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why'd the chicken cross the road? It needed excitement in its otherwise mundane lifestyle.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

how many dead babies can you fit into a blender? 17 how do you get them out? Tortilla chips, but you'd be arrested by that time anyway because you just murdered 17 babies

thumb_up thumb_down +12

How did the little boy survive the massacre? He didn't, he died like everyone else.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? Neither has he.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Did you hear about the Mexican boy scout that helped that old lady cross the border.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why did the boy get nothing from Santa? He's Jewish.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

how do you get a happy man to stop smiling? hit him in the face repeatedly untill he is dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Q: What did the kid with no arms get for christmas? A: A set of Legos

thumb_up thumb_down +10

An Irish guy, a black guy, and an Asian guy walk into a bar. They all caught the plague and died.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why couldn't the black guy vote? He was only 17.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What 2 differences does a potato have in common? They both have very thin skin.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Anti-jokes are funny.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

what do abortion and a coat hanger have in common? they both contain 4 vowels

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What did Timmy say when the bus crashed? Nothing, it was a horrible crash, he died like everyone else. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Timmy.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What's black, white and red all over? A cow after slaughter.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Did you hear about the guy who lost his whole left side??? Yeah he's all right now!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +10

knock knock who's there? Madeline McCann really? no

thumb_up thumb_down +10

which sex position produces the ugliest children? go ask ur mom

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Q:What's the difference between my refrigerator and the trunk of my car? A: There isn't a spare tire in my refrigerator.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

I would, but I see an older version of the kid, that suffered so much pain and agony.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops