After going at it for several minutes, the teenager, with a big grin in his face, finally busted a nut during Thanksgiving dinner and was able to remove the walnut from its shell and enjoy it.

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There are two kinds of people in this world: those that finish their sentences

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Roses are red Violets are blue Most poems rhyme oo

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A man was running from drug dealers When they had him cornered he ran towards the sun and died

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Remember how I made you hypnotically cum by poking your own nose last time? When I told you that hypnotic story about the astrologer and the brain surgeon? So you wet yet? Think about how easy its going to be for me when I take out Mr.Big and slap down your coffee table with it, yeah... Feels cozy down there does it not?

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why dont you throw rocks at a mexican on a bike? its unethical and can severely hurt the individual on the bike

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And the guy who played Trapper John on MASH wins the coveted 'Last Famous TV Person to Die in 2015' award!!! Woooooooo!!!!

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How long did it take the man to swim the Atlantic? I don't know. Everybody stopped counting after a while and went on with their lives. His body was never found.

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What is green, brown, has four legs and would kill you if it fell on you from out of a tree? A pool table

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How do you make an electrician fall over? You hit him hard with a lamp

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The farmer left his fence open and the chicken happened to cross a road.

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whats white jizz

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What did Mr. Sandman do whrn the boy asked for one too many dreams, nothing because Mr. Sandman was the boys bitch.

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Man is even more eager to copulate than a donkey – his purse is what restrains him

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There are 2 men are standing on the roof of a building, one of them jumps off, the other one is named Peter

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Did you hear about the man who went up into space without a space suit? He died.

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A doctor walks into a bar, he stumbles backwards as he is taking his coat of, and the barman chuckles.

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What happens when three blind mice go our looking for food? They die because of the mouse traps the owners have because they are tired of loosing food to the mice.

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What did the cow say to the farmer? moo

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42

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You Mom is so ugly, It makes sense why you always have that look on your face!

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What doesn't kill you makes you injured

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Knock! Knock! Who's There? The Police. Open the damn door. Nobody Is Home.

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what did the guy say before he went to kill the other guy? Im killing you

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops