Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was DEAD! But why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was stapled to the first monkey... But then why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? P-p-p-p-eer pressure

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A young girl walks out of a bar then gets raped.

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I scream, you scream, we all scream for shit

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A spanish comedian walked into a bar. He was on time for his act.

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What do grizzly bears and people have in common? Neither can survive in outer space, due to depressurization, lack of oxygen, and absence of basic survival needs.

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Whats worse than not having cellphone service? Having sex unwillingly with a stranger then getting pregnant at the age of 13.

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Why didn't the man stop at the stop sign? He was violently killed turning at the last intersection

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Why did the drunk man puke? Because he was drunk.

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where did susan go durring the explotion? every where...

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what did the girl get with her blueberry waffles? blue waffles.

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whats black and white? Micheal Jackson. - Avery Vartanian

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What do you call a polar bear in the desert? Bobby Marksson.

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Why did the black guy still have price tags on his clothes? He forgot to take them off.

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Chuck Norris can speak Japanese. Believe it or not he is actually multilingual, he speaks Spanish and French as well.

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I like my women like I like my coffee. Hot, black, liquid, and in a cup.

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A woman is in a terrible car crash. The husband comes in, runs to the doctor and he says "Doctor! My wife...is she going to make it?" The doctor turns and says "your wife will survive, but she's experienced heavy brain trauma. She will never walk again. You'll have to bathe her, feed her, change her diapers, and cater to her every need." The husband starts crying and says "oh my God that's terrible! Are you serious?" The doctor replies "Yes."

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What was that pirate movie rated? PG-13

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Whats blue, green and red, and runs trough the strees each sunday? ...What? I have no idea, I was hoping you did.

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2 gay men walked into a bar, The next day they want back to the bar, They went back on the third day but only 1 man came back out and he was in tears, This was because the other man had a cardiac arrest and died.

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I always like to pack a second pair of pants, because if there's one thing my mother ever said to me it was 'please, I'm begging you - don't put me in a home.'

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Q: what is green, red, white, on fire, in space A: i dont know you tell me

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knock knock whos there rock rock who rocks dont knock stupid

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A horse walks into a bar, the bartenders asks "Why the long face?"

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What did the pineapple say to the apple? Nothing, neither can speak.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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