What do you call a black guy with no hair? Bald

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How do you get a one-armed kid down from a tree? Wave.

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Why does everyone hate on justin beiber cause its easy

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Your mom is so fat that she steps on the scale and sees a relatively large number compared to the rest of human society.

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In my country we don't swim, we drown.

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How do you know if you are an alien? When you start maulesting sea creatures for their milk

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why was the gay person gay? he liked penis in his bum.

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Why is a dog smarter than a human? Because you an asshole if you believe me

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A man had two horses. One was black and one was white. He cut the tail of one of them to tell them apart.

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Your mums so stupid. She bought an apple for 35p even though the shop across the road sells them for 34p

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How do you get a black guy out of a tree? Get a ladder from your house and kindly help him down.

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What's it called when an abusive alcoholic father iguana has trouble connecting with his wayward teenage drug addict son iguana, while at the same time the mother iguana doesn't come home till late hours and constantly calls her daughter iguana a slut? Reptile Dysfunction.

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"Ask me if I'm a tree." "Are you a tree?" "...no..?"

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One out of every 3 smokers dies.................. the rest gain immortality.

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why couldn't Hellen Keller scream when she fell of a building? She was wearing mittens.

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What do you call a deer with no eyes? Noideer! No.Blind What do you call a deer with no eyes and no legs? Still Noideer! No, it's basically dead

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What do chickens, pictures and babies have in common? Nothing.

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why am i a dick head. because my gcse's spelt fudge and i dont like fudge so i project my anger into boss things

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One day in school two kids had a conversation. Susan: What do you want to do when your older? Oliver: I want to go to the moon. Susan: Oh. I went there last week. Oliver: Can you smell something. Susan: Haven't you ever been to Pennsylvania.

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What do you do when life hands you lemons? Go home, look for the ingredients on which to make proper, delicious lemonade. Afterward, I would go in the front yard, make a stand, then make a sign that says $1.00 lemonade. Then you know make millions on your master-mind plan that no one else ever thought of.

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A man walks in to a bar, so he got hurt.

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When life throws you knives, you're probably dead

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Your mom is so fat that she has high cholesterol. Moral: I AM NOT CRAZY! Said the man to the dog.

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Man #1:Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Man #2: I don't know Man #1: Because he died. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Man #2: Because he died? Man #1: Yep. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Man #2: Really? Come on, I've already answered your stupid question. Man #1: JUST ANSWER! Man #2: Fine, because he died. Man #1: No, peer pressure. Duh. Man #2 promplty punches Man #1 in the face and continues about his buisness.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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