Roses are red, violets are blue, some people are gay, and so are you

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Why did the dog get arrested? He didn't the people responsible for causing the dog fight got arrested for animal abuse.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Roses are red violets are blue this poem makes no sense refrigerator.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

A zen master walks up to a hot dog vendor and says, "Make me one with everything." The vendor says, "Sorry, we're out of relish." Then the zen master tells him, "Sir, I don't think you get the joke. As you can see by my long silk robes and fu manchu, I am clearly a zen master. And I have used a pun that would make you think I were asking for enlightenment from a hot dog." The vendor then says, "We don't take too kindly to wise guys here." And then the prick gets up and tosses me into the street!

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What is worse than stubbing your toe. Being shot

thumb_up thumb_down +16

how do you get a girl of a swing? puch her off! how do you get her friend of a swing? throw a refridgerator at her!

thumb_up thumb_down +16

a kid was born with down syndrome on christmas night

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What did one cat say to the other cat? --------- Meow --------- What's pink and fluffy? --------- Pink fluff --------- What's green and yellow? --------- Grass. I lied about the yellow part.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What do you call the fear of anteaters? Stupid.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Johny got a iphone ipad and a macbook. He bragged to his friend. His friend said, i got an apple.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Two men were walking down the street. All of a sudden, the first man turns to the second and pulls out his hands of 4 fingers each. The second man shows his hand of 6 fingers each. What does this show about them? Together they have 20 fingers total.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

A white guy, a black guy, and an asian guy are all sitting on a park bench. They share several minutes of uncomfortable silence due to cultural differences.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

why did josh pick up the quarter because he's a jew

thumb_up thumb_down +16

I will slap myself once for every like this joke gets!

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he has an abusive farmer and needs to get away before it gets any worse.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

why couldn't sarah ride the bike? She had cerebral Palsy

thumb_up thumb_down +16

A man walked into a bar. He was meeting his friends but was 30 minutes early so he went down the road to buy some food. He had recently began dieting after watching a series of lifestyle programs which informed him of the potential risks involved with high cholesterol and blood pressure levels. He purchased a garden salad and a freshly squeezed orange juice, and made it back to the bar in time to meet his friends.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

how do you make holy water? you burn the hell out of it

thumb_up thumb_down +16

How do you change you dishwasher into a snowblower? Give her a shovel.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Can a man reproduce with only one testicle? No because girls don't dig that sh*t

thumb_up thumb_down +16

-What animal has the best vision? -I hate when you try to talk dirty during sex

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What is worse than standing on a plug? finding out your family have all been killen in a horrible car crash and your neighbours daughter who happens to be your friend has cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

There once was a man from Nantucket who lost most of his savings by making bad investment decisions.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

three blondes are walking along the beach on a desert island, they each have plans to escape. The first swims off the island but is swept in with the current back to land The second blonde burns an SOS into the sand using a rock and twigs-the wind blows it out The third, realising how immature her freinds were, reaches into her pocket and pulls out her mobile phone and begins dialling the coast guard.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops