Two fish were lying on a bank. One said "I can't breath." The other one was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why was the boy hanging from the ceiling? He was sad

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Did you here that Hellen Keller got hit by a bus? No. Neither did she.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Knock Knock Who's there The military. We're under attack. The military we're under attack who? Dinos

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why did the parents order the 16 year old daughter to move out of Virginia? Because she lost her virginity

thumb_up thumb_down +8

4 people: A pilot, Bill Gates, the Pope, and a little kid, are all on an airplane with only 3 parachutes, when the plane's engine explodes and starts to go down. But the pilot makes an emergency landing at a nearby airport and everybody is okay.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

How do you do to stop a baby who is circling? You nail his other feet.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Question: Whats worse then getting hit by a bus? Answer: Getting hit by a train.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Dude: Hey want to hear a joke? Other dude: What is it? Dude: Joke. Other dude: What? Dude: I don't know. That was a joke ladies an gentleman.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Knock Knock Who's there? John John who? John Williams.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

whats worse then finding your mom with your boyfriend? finding your dad with your girlfriend.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Whats worse than a dog biting you? Cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

I never made a mistake. I thought i did once but i was mistaken

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why was the 15 year old boy always alone in his bedroom making strange noises? Because he was struggling to fight back the tears following his single mother's recent suicide, driven by her despair over the reality that her son was an out of control drug addict, just like his no-good father who ran out on them.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

A black man and a white woman cross paths while walking on the sidewalk. After greeting each other, they continue on their way. Each goes on to enjoy their respective day free of racism and sexism.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What do you call a blonde prostitute your bitch

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why did the young boy lose a testicle? Because he was viciously raped by a large parrot

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Three guys went barhopping. One slipped and broke his dick.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

who wants to hear a joke about the broken pencil? to late, its sharpened

thumb_up thumb_down +8

whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? lts of stuff like murder, rape, slavery, poverty, mindcontrol, mass genocide, the holocaust, racism, plagarism, physichal assault, war, terrorism, massacres, onsloughts, necrophillia, the dead rising, zombies, jokes on antijokes.com, awkward situations, dieing, cancer, ADHD, other mental illnesses, paint, the grim reaper, shinigami, stereotyping foreigners, prejudicism, bullying, armed robbery, hacking, viruses, incest, feral animals, getting lost in the forest, arsonry, pyromania, passing out in a bar, meeting a serial killer, and finding 2 worms in your apple.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Two straight men walk into a gay bar and promptly forget why they went to a gay bar when they are both clearly heterosexual.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why did the chicken cross the road? The chicken had just received a call from his family, hearing that his father had just been butchered. He was approaching the farm when an 18-wheeler approached. The tire flew off, hit a candy store, candy flew in the chicken's mouth, and it died of diabetes. However, right before the chicken died he finally crossed the road, not knowing he would get shot by his farmer. The chicken managed to survive the shooting to his right kidney, wiggled to his family, and died in front of his wife.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Knock knock Who's There? Me I kill you again HA HA HA

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What does Kim Kardashian and a Navy Vessel have in common? They are both full of seamen!

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops