What did Helen Keller do at a concert? Sit.

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what did the homeless man get for christmas.......................nothing

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Those who can't teach... Aren't teachers.

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Why did Steve refuse to have sex with a black guy? Because Steve is heterosexual.

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Why should children always be nice? Because the evil christmas demon KRAMPUS will rip their ears off, put them in a bag and beat them with a stick!

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Why can't Helen Keller conduct a Train. Because she is dead.

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A blind man walks into a bar. He cannot read the drink menu.

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A turtle and a rabbit are having a race. The rabbit goes really fast and sees the turtle so far away. So the rabbit takes a short nap and waits for the turtle for a little challenge. Suddenly the rabbit wakes up and sees the turtle about to cross the finish line. The rabbit runs as fast as he can, but it was too late. A bus runs them over and they both die.

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Q. What's the difference between a Mcdonalds employee and a gynecologist? A. They have different jobs.

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Your Mama's so fat that the Doctor recommended a healthy eating diet, and to exercise daily.

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Sometimes I stare at a Frisbee and wonder why it is getting bigger. Then, it hits me.

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How are jello and frankenstein alike? Both green, both alive, and bill cosby didn't make me want either.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? A Jew is a person who adheres to the Jewish faith and claims a cultural or ancestral connection to the Jewish people, and a pizza is an oven-baked, flat, disc shaped bread usually topped with tomato sauce and mozzarella and then a selection of meats, depending on taste and culture.

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A man crashed his boat and is lost in the ocean. He comes across a cruise ship, and they ask if he wants help. The man says, "No. God will save me, but thanks anyway." Later on that night, he is eaten by a shark.

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What's harder than winning an argument with a woman. Lonsdaleite which has recently been declared the hardest substance known to man, and can withstand 58% more stress than the hardest diamond crystal.

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What did the boy do when he ran out of Pringles? He killed himself.

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roses are red yoda is green my lightsaber needs 2 hands if you know what i mean

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A man and his wife are sitting on the couch in their house, watching tv. The man says, "Do you smell smoke?" The woman then replies, "No." They then proceed to watch more tv.

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Scientific fact: If you took all the veins from your body and laid them end to end, you would die.

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John: hey wats up? Bob: gas prices!

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Santa Clause, a smart blonde, and the Queen of England all jump out of a plane, which hits the ground first? Galileo's theory tells us that all objects fall at the same speed regardless of weight, so they all hit simultaneously.

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Q: IMAGINE that your in a heart racing battle with a huge grizzly bear when suddenly a bird picks you up and carries you to china and leaves you on the adge of a cliff which then you are chased by warriors and are forced to jump off the edge. What do you do? A: Wake up

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What do you call it when you see a black man break his arm? There isn't really any name but I suggest he seeks medical attention.

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why did the kid fall off the swing? someone threw a fridge at him

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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