Carl has 300 candy bars. He eats 295. What does Carl have? Diabetes. Carl has diabetes.

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Why did the trombone player have sex so often? Because he was hot.

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? You shove her off the bed

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CALLER: Is your refrigerator running? OWNER: Yes, it's working just fine.

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Why did the little girl fall off the swings? Because at the climax point in the swing, gravity is making a much larger affect on you because you are pulling farther away from the earth as well as positioning your body in a way where it is awkward and unstable to support your body, which greatly increases the chance of you falling off and landing on the ground.

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why was six afraid of seven? seven was a sex offender

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whats the difference between a door knob? a milk carton, because people have legs so they can walk !!!!!

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Have you seen Stevie Wonders new house? No. Neither Has He.

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Knock, Knock! Go away!

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Why did the Asian drive his car into a tree? His contact fell out.

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So I was walking down the road today

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Patient: Doctor, I was cleaning my glass eye and accidentally swallowed it. Doctor: OK. Lean over and spread your legs. Patient: (Leans over and spreads his legs). Doctor: My God! This is the first time, in all my years of practice, that I've ever seen an asshole looking back at me

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Whats red and smells like blue paint? Red paint

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justin bieber: ask me if im a boy are you a boy? no.

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Roses are red Violets are blue we're going to have sex because i'm stronger than you

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What is an Indian's favourite country? North Currya

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What time is it when a cow walks into your house? The time that your mother arives.

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I remember my grandfather's last words he said to me before he kicked the bucket...."Hey, how far do you think I can kick this bucket?"

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You know why they call me Scuba Steve? Because I Scuba Dive.

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What happened when Mary threw a kettle at Daniel? Daniel was scalded in the facial area and was blinded forever.

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What is you problem!? Im retarded, what is your problem?

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Why was the Microsoft fan happy? Because Steve Jobs died.

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If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests? Quite obviously, still quizzical, being that tests are just longer, harder quizzes.

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What's the difference between a Watermelon and a baby? One is fun to smash with a sledgehammer, the other is a watermelon.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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