police are looking for max 'cheesehead' harrison

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because lately the posts on "anti-joke.com" have not been anti-jokes. Not even a little.

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Technically I did not try to, but I made you believe I tried in vain, so your subconcious is unable to register that it is under a state of trance, you could deny it, but you are in a state of trance right now. So how big are your breasts?

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What is the difference between a black man and a burnt pizza? -Nothing there both black.

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What do you call a black person on a bike? A cyclist.

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Why did the young boy lose a testicle? Because he was viciously raped by a large parrot

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What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

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Q: Waiter! What's this fly doing in my soup? A: Oh, I'm terribly sorry sir, I’ll replace this with a fresh bowl of soup and I’ll have a word with the manager to see if we can deduct a sum from your bill for the inconvenience we have caused you

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A man walked into this bar, and said ouch.

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What has a mouth but cant talk Helen keller What has eyes but cant see Helen keller What has ears but cant hear You guessed it an ear of corn

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What did the mute man say to his mother? Seeing as mute men can't talk, we'll never know

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What did Santa Claus get for Christmas? Santa isn't real.

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Why did the girl eat a cookie? Because cookies are good.

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A walks into a bar and the bartender says, "Why the long face?" Not getting a response, the disoriented bartender realizes he was talking to his own reflection in the mirror at the back of the bar.

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Penis. (Note: if you get this you have a dirty ass)

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knock knock whos there? nobody

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Whats hard and long? An erect penile shaft.

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roses are grey violets are grey so says my color blind cousin

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What's the difference between a car and 10 dead babies? I don't have 10 dead babies in my garage.

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What did the pear say to the orange? Orange ya gonna say hi? What did the apple say to the banana? Nothing, apples can't talk.

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roses are red violets are blue i'll be back in an hour or two

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Knock Knock. Who´s there? Tsu Tsu who? TSUNAMI!!!!!!!

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Chuck Norris can speak Japanese. Believe it or not he is actually multilingual, he speaks Spanish and French as well.

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what do you call an elevator full of white people. a box of crackers

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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