How many squirrels does it take to change a light bulb? As they can't find any, they are just squirrels, they can not asist little timmy choking on the lightbulb rolling around on the floor.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

A guy walks into a bar. He orders a drink and sighs heavily, waiting to escape the reality of his broken home, his cheating wife, and his high school dropout kid.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

A catholic priest gets a nun pregnant. He drowns the baby several months later.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What was the cancer patients last wish? For the pain to go away...Yolo...-Avery Scott Vartanian

thumb_up thumb_down +21

I AM SATAN, YOU SHALL LOVE ME BEFORE EVERYBODY ELSE! YOU SHALL STONE THY INSOLENT CHILDREN! THY SHALL R*PE AND KILL IN MY NAME! YOU SHALL HANG MY SON ON THE CROSS WHICH I SACRIFICED BECAUSE HE IS IMMORTAL/BECAUSE I LOVE YOU? "Moral" "Man": Joke is on you, who do you think I am, God?

thumb_up thumb_down +21

A man walks into a bar. He has suffered from a concussion and is now in the emergency room.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

why did the plane crash? because the pilot was a loaf of bread

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Okay I have knock knock joke but u have to start it. Okay Knock knock Who's there (akward silence)

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Like a bit of a cozy fight or something.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Misner is a twat.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

"Did you fall from heaven?...Cause your face is really messed up."

thumb_up thumb_down +21

i like my babies how i like my potatoes..... skinned

thumb_up thumb_down +21

A mermaid walks into a bar, but she has no legs, so she flops over and proceeds to drag herself into the bar.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Mugger: Give me all your money. Victim: No. Mugger: Okay. (Moves on to find his next victim)

thumb_up thumb_down +21

what do you do when you see a black man getting hitted by a Mexican taxi? -Call 911

thumb_up thumb_down +21

My period is red, Your sauce is white, now pull down your pants and let me do my workout.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Why did Bob fall off the swing? Because he had no arms. Knock Knock Who's there Obviously not Bob, Idiot What did Bob get for christmas? A glove Actually, I lie. He hasn't unboxed it yet.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

why is pie good. because it just is.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What number is funnier than 23? 24.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

A man goes to an amusement park. He heads straight for the roller-coaster and gets in line. When he gets to the front, the ride operator informs him that he is too short to ride. "You must be at least 48 inches, sir, you just barely miss the mark, I'm sorry, I can't let you ride." The man is sad, but he doesn't let this little discrepancy ruin his day. He then gets in line for a different ride.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Q: Guess what my Mom and Dad did last Night on the Kitchen Table.... A: Had Dinner.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Why don't women wear watches? In the technological age we live in, the watch is rapidly being replaced with other electronic devices that tell time, such as cell phones or iPods.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

like if u think princess kenny id the fairest maiden in all the land. if u havent played or watched pewdiepie play south park the stick of truth, disregard this message.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What do you call a black priest? HOLY SHIT!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops