A man walks into a bar. He gets wasted and forgets the punchline.

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Why did the chicken cross the road?... To get to the other side.

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What's the biggest difference between white and black people? the melanin levels in their skin.

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Why couldn't little Sally fall asleep? She was on fire.

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Your mamas so old she died of old age, R.I.P.

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what did the homeless man get for christmas.......................nothing

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What did Santa Clause say to Rudolf? Nothing. Santa's not real.

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A turtle and a rabbit are having a race. The rabbit goes really fast and sees the turtle so far away. So the rabbit takes a short nap and waits for the turtle for a little challenge. Suddenly the rabbit wakes up and sees the turtle about to cross the finish line. The rabbit runs as fast as he can, but it was too late. A bus runs them over and they both die.

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What did Helen Keller do at a concert? Sit.

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What do you call an art history major with a job? A gainfully employed member of society, who assuredly benefited from his access to higher education (and quite possibly from acquaintances or family members within the company that employs him, though it is often considered impolite to mention this latter fact, as it may be construed to denigrate the aforementioned individual or his chosen field of study).

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A priest and rabbi walk into a bar. The bartender was incredibly biased towards religion and had the rabbi removed.

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Sometimes I stare at a Frisbee and wonder why it is getting bigger. Then, it hits me.

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What's beauitful and disgusting at the same time? Menstration. Jk it's just disgusting.

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A man crashed his boat and is lost in the ocean. He comes across a cruise ship, and they ask if he wants help. The man says, "No. God will save me, but thanks anyway." Later on that night, he is eaten by a shark.

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What's do a woman's vagina and a camel's toe have in common? Other than being parts of two mammals, they have nothing in common.

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Q: How did the robber steal a laptop from best buy? A: With his hands

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Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Pi pi pi pi Pi pi pi pi Pingu Pingu!

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What did the fat kid eat for dinner? Salad, he's on a diet.

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Tell me you're a rapist. You're a rapist. This joke makes no sense. Mashed potatoes.

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Why did the old man get the anti aging cream ? He failed 8th grade 50 times.

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so your paddling up stream in a cement canoe, one wheel falls off. how many pancakes does it take to shingle a dog house? 46 cause bears dont like eggs.

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wanna hear a joke? yes

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man 1 walks by man 2 man 1 says hey buddy whats up man 2 responds do i know you man 1 says no but i saw seeing a movie on friday man 2 says oh cool but wasnt that movie great man 1 responds ya and man 1 and man 2 become best friends plus man 1 only liked man 2 because he was rich!!!

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What's funnier than a dead baby? Almost everything. Infant mortality rates are incrediby high in many third world countries, and it is certainly no laughing matter.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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