So a dog walks into a bar, and the bartender says, "Quickly, someone give me the number for animal control."

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Q: how do you get a live elephant into a refrigerator? A: you buy an industrial sized refrigerator and then walk the elephant slowly but surely through the door.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? A Jew is a person who practices the Jewish religion. A pizza is an italian dish consisting of dough, cheese, and tomato sauce.

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A couple was arguing about how the man was cheating and he was in "The Doghouse". There clever son pointed out that they didn't own a dog.

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knock knock? who's there the stubt double vampire that's going to kill you;0

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A man walks into a bar, he begins drinking and returns home visably drunk. His family disowns him as he is a recovering alchoholic who was three months sober.

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ROSES ARE RED VIOLETS ARE BOOBS BOOBS BOOBS BOOBS BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOBSSSSSSSS!

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What happens when your first name is Newton? You get nicknamed NEWT

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What do you call an Asian man in a car? A motorist.

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Looks like this is a *puts on sunglasses* Pair of sunglasses

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What 2 differences does a potato have in common? They both have very thin skin.

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Why was the black man escorted from the bar? Because the bartender was racist.

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I like my women like I like my coffee. Hot, black, liquid, and in a cup.

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knock knock who's ther? chris chris who? JUST OPEN THE F***ING DOOR AND CHECK IT OUT

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What do you call a polar bear in the desert? Bobby Marksson.

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Why couldn't the little pirate see the movie? He was busy

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in 2001 a man was working happily in his office cubicle and got an email from his boss saying that he had great news for him. filled with excitment he knew he was getting A big promotion and could finally afford that new toy his kid has always wanted. Feeling great the man walks up to the office window to enjoy the view he notices a very large commercial airliner flying straight towards his office.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It was an attempted suicide. His family left him, he had been in and out of rehab for a terrible cocaine addiction for over ten years, and was still having nightmares about his abusive past.

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where did susan go durring the explotion? every where...

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Nice belt.

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If you see a lawyer on a bicycle, why don't you swerve to hit him? Because that would be assault, and not only assault but aggravated assault, since you are using a weapon to do it. Plus, the lawyer would have an advantage over you in court during the trial, due to having a law degree.

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Why did the drunk man puke? Because he was drunk.

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what did the girl get with her blueberry waffles? blue waffles.

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Fine Nero, but I will be keeping an eye on you.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops