How do you get a kid to shut up? You ducttape his mouth,legs, and arms and throw him in a pit

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Why couldn't the Egyptian pharaoh solve the Rubik's Cube? He didn't know how.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Why did Kelly lose all interest in men? An aneurysm in her brain popped

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Women's Rights.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

why did the plane crash? because the pilot was a loaf of bread

thumb_up thumb_down +26

How do you put a bananna in a mini-van? Walk up to the mini-van and stick it in the backseat.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "Why the long face?" The man replies, "I was born with an extra chromosome."

thumb_up thumb_down +26

How do you sabotage someone's car? Drop a fridge on it

thumb_up thumb_down +26

A Girl Who was very close to er grandmother got a text from her mom who was very new to texting, she thought lol meant "Lots Of Love" wel it turns out the Girl's Grandmother Passed away Sunday Morning And the Mom sent the text to the girl saying " Your Grandmother Got hit by a truck and died lol" the Girl Killed Herself that night becasue Of her mom, LESSON LEARNED< LEARN HOW TO TEXT.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

What do you call a black person driving a plane? A pilot, because you dont want to call him anything racist i mean he is driving you up 25,000 ft in the air and the last thing you want is for him to get mad and decide to do something rational, God, you racists.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

vaginas are pretty!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +26

What's funnier than the holocaust? Just about everything seeing how the holocaust is not a funny event, but rather enormous tragedy.... Assholes.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

What do you call a blue bucket? A blue bucket. What do you call a red bucket? A blue bucket in disguise.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

copy me and i will kill you

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Two guys walk into a bar; A Mexican and a Canadian. The Mexican guy says "Bartender, give me a 2 shots of Tequila, por favor". The Canadian guy says "Bartender, give me a shot of Club and a Molson, eh". They continue to drink until neither can feel the crippling pain of their mundane lives - then they each leave the bar, walk home and sleep alone.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What dies but was never living? The hopes and dreams of small children.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

I now pronounce you man and lion. You may now kiss the pride.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread!

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What do you call a magic owl? HOODINI only some will get it...

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Why are the Jamaicans in the kitchen? because they are bad men

thumb_up thumb_down +24

A cripple and a Jew walk into a bar. They sit down and begin to discuss all the stigmas that they have faced their entire lives. The conversation goes on for an hour, at which point a black man walks in. Just then, the bar explodes and they all die.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

i was in bed with a girl recently and she said to me 'I want tonight to be magical', so afterwards i disappeared.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

69 is a number not a sex poshion

thumb_up thumb_down +24

How do you wake a sleeping bear? Kick it.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops