what happened when the chicken crossed the road? it didn't the hunter shot it

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Why couldn't the dwarf mother reach for the top shelf? Her height was at a mini-mum.

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You: Ask me if I like lasagna. Them: Do you like lasagna? You: No.

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There is a man laying on the floor in a pool of blood and vomit, there is a broken beer bottle in a puddle of beer next to him. He thinks is a sponge.Purple

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roses are red violets are blue i have some cheese im going to eat it

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So this fat guy farts. It smells.

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Why did the 6 year old girl go to therapy? Because her step dad raped her.

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What's sicker than "Friday" by Rebecca Black? Hitler's kill death ratio

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Where did Susie go in the bombing? Nowhere. Susie is the bomber.

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A man walks into a bar with a monkey, I forgot the rest of the joke, but your mom's a whore.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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Why doesn't anybody like the octopus? There anti-social creatures by nature

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What do you call seven pine trees and a roll of toilet paper? Mongoloid.

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Why did Jenny fail her photography class? Because Jenny has epilepsy and she had a coma while taking the final exam. To this day Jenny is drain dead in the hospital.

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Whats worse than bitting into a apple and finding a worm? Being the worm who just lost nearly half his whole house because some jerk decided to eat an apple on the ground, whom after eating the apple destroyed the worms self-esteem by making the comparison to the worse thing possible. Or being raped by Zeus in the form of a worm.

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Priest: "Matt, will you take Senae to be your wife, your partner in life and your one true love? Will you cherish her friendship and love her today, tomorrow and forever? Will you trust and honor her, laugh with her and cry with her? Will you be faithful through good times and bad, in sickness and in health as long as you both shall live?" Matt: No

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If a chicken and a taco cross a highway how many cats does it take to milk a turkey? Cactus cause the dog had two black eyes

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Roses are red, violets are blue, purple is a color, I like grilled cheese

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Gladly, you sound very confident, makes me happy. Well, doctors thought I had ADHD (go figure) but I am pretty calm outside the internet, then they went with ADD, but since my attention is twofold, this meaning that I can get a lecture, while noticing a toothpick falling on the other side of the room (noticing as in perceiving with focus not necessarily listening but you know, seeing from the corner of ones eye) Yet still focus well enough to get the lecture in details. So its not split focus such as in ADD, but dual, as in me being able to think about two things at once, but also burning out extremely fast, which again, is far from ADD.

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mommy, mommy, the ice cream man is coming can i have a dollar? sure sweetie. YAY! Goes up to ice cream truck, ice cream man asks what would you like little boy, would you like chocolate, vanilla, str.... Ice cream man steals small boy.

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Why is Taylor sad? Because she's the middle of a human centipede.

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Chuck Norris is so strong, he can probably lift more than 80 pounds

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Whats white and blue and if it fell out of a tree it would kill you? a fridge in a denim jacket :D

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says "why the long face?" The horse says "i have aids."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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