Knock Knock. Come in.

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your mom died.

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What's funnier than the holocaust? Just about everything seeing how the holocaust is not a funny event, but rather enormous tragedy.... Assholes.

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A Jew walks into a bar screaming cause he just broke his face

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why did the plane crash? because the pilot was a loaf of bread

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Why did Kelly lose all interest in men? An aneurysm in her brain popped

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A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "Why the long face?" The man replies, "I was born with an extra chromosome."

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Snapple Fact #1 -slaves made life easier

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Why couldn't the Egyptian pharaoh solve the Rubik's Cube? He didn't know how.

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How do you get a kid to shut up? You ducttape his mouth,legs, and arms and throw him in a pit

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How do you sabotage someone's car? Drop a fridge on it

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How do you put a bananna in a mini-van? Walk up to the mini-van and stick it in the backseat.

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Women's Rights.

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why was 6 afraid of 7 because 6 just found out 7 had genital herpes.

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Why did the Grizzly bear refrain from attacking the hiker? It didn't. The hiker was torn to shreds within minutes.

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Two guys walk into a bar; A Mexican and a Canadian. The Mexican guy says "Bartender, give me a 2 shots of Tequila, por favor". The Canadian guy says "Bartender, give me a shot of Club and a Molson, eh". They continue to drink until neither can feel the crippling pain of their mundane lives - then they each leave the bar, walk home and sleep alone.

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What dies but was never living? The hopes and dreams of small children.

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What do you call a blue bucket? A blue bucket. What do you call a red bucket? A blue bucket in disguise.

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copy me and i will kill you

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What's the best way to cross the road? Ideally with your feet and legs because disabled people usually don't recommend their unfortunate state of affairs. However there are other alternatives which may or may not be better than common or garden walking, such as crane hire - crossing in a crane bucket in a safe spot; chauffer driven limos, which don't do the straight, direct route, generally; and being carried on a replica of Cleopatra's carry couch (but with modern suspension, unless you prefer the up and down motion).

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Roses are red Violets are blue I like you Get in the van

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What's the only thing more horrible than trash can full of dead babies? A live one at the bottom. What's more horrible than that? He has to eat his way out. What's more horrible than that? He goes back for more. What's more horrible than that? This all took place in my garage while I was watching.

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You can pick you're friends, you can pick you're nose, but you can't run over a pedestrian.

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What do you call a magic owl? HOODINI only some will get it...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops