A boy and his father are in a car crash. The father dies and the son is transported to the nearest hospital. Once there, a surgeon is brought in to operate on the boy. The surgeon steps back and says "I can't operate on this boy, I haven't had enough training for such a situation." The hospital calls in another surgeon and they are more qualified for the event. Then the surgeon wakes up and realizes the boy is in critical condition. There is blood drenching his shirt and there is only seconds to operate. Suddenly, the boy wakes up and realizes he has just survived a car crash. Suddenly Leonardo DeCaprio enters with a girl. The world turns on its side and they all wake up to find them selves a victim of Inception. Then the caterpillar wakes up and realizes it has immense mental capacity, even above those of an above-average human. Then I woke up and realized I lost my job. MLIA.

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knock knock whose there cash! cash who i don't want any but i'd like some peanuts

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What's worse than farting in a silent class room? Denying it and farting a second time.

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What did the black man say to the other black man? Nothing, he was recently involved in a terrible car accident which he barely survived but lost the function of speech and was paralysed from the neck downwards. He is constantly in pain and desperately wants someone to kill him but has no way of communicating this so is forced to wait until his natural death.

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Joke

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yo moma is so poor she cant afford free samples

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What would happen if hitler and winston Churchill was in a bar? The police will be called to take them away as there just laying there dead

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Q: What did the Black Man say to the Mexican Fellow Guy? A: Hello.

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Jake: When was war of 1812? Harry: 1812 Jake: Oh.

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What do you get when you cross a RPG with a cell phone? A microwave

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What do you call a fish with no eyes? Fsh

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

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Why can't you hear a pterodactyl going to the bathroom? (Other): "Because the P is silent." Because they're extinct.

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if a joke has not punch line, how does that strike you?

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what is racecar backwards in reverse

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A guy walks into a bar. He goes to the hospital with a severe head injury and dies.

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what do you call a black women that got an abortion a crime stopper

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In Pokemon, why are bug types super effective against dark types? Because Ebola affected a lot in Africa.

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What did the dog say to the tree? Bark.

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How do you get a one-armed Polak out of a tree? Get him a ladder and help him down.

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What's got one leg and no eyes? A leg.

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Gary: Stick your tongue out and say "I live in a pirate ship" Bruce: *sticks tongue out* "I lib inna pile of shiiit."

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What does a banana and a helicopter have in common? Neither of them are a police officer.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. I like pie. I know you do too.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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