Why did the chicken cross the road? Chickens don't have the cognitive capacity to reason. So you'd never know

knock knock who's there? faith

Q:If Ryan Vallee walks into a room what do you do? A:Walk out -Ryan V

A chicken crosses the road... Gets fined for jaywalking.

One day a baby hit himself on the head with a stuffed animal. I lied, it was a brick, so he died.

yo mama so stupid that when she stared at an orange jucie carton for 20 minutes cause it said consatrate

I scream, You scream, The police come, It's awkward.

Yo Mama is like a gas station:pump and pay.

A priest, a minister and a rabbit were seated next to each other on an airplane. They all had to pay for lunch.

What's the difference between a black man and a park bench? The bench can support a family of 4?

Why didnt little timmy have a pencil? He was poor

a man walks into a bar. ouch. that must suck, but he should really look where he's going

Whats white? A fridge

Whats the difference between a baby and a watermelon? One is fun to smash with a hammer. The other is a watermelon.

Why do you never see elephants hiding in trees? They're really good at it

How many blondes can you fit in a car? About 5 if you lift the arm rest.

Bob:Know who's really stupid? Rick:Who? Bob:Your mum.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the cross light said signal said "GO"

Knock knock! Who's there? Boo! Boo who? Aww, don't cry!

What looks like half of an apple? The other half.

How many flies does it take to screw in a light bulb? Two, but the real question is why there are two flies having sex inside a light bulb.

OMG THIS ACTUALLY WORKS! 1. Hold your breath for 2 mins 2. Die

How many jews does it take to change a light bulb? 0. There are no lights at Auschwitz.

Knock-knock jokes with sjws: Knock knock! Who's there? A transgender! A transgender who? WOW. It's 2016, people. If you can't recognize a transgender, you're a disgusting piece of cis white male scum! OH! OHH! "I'm sorry lady"? Do I LOOK like a lady to you? I'm a- no- sir- stop interrupting me. SIR! I identify as a gender fluid demisexual! "What does that matter?" Oh my god. Well it wouldn't matter if I identified as a goddamn piece of salami to you would it??? Huh? I'm confusing you? WOW! What a priveleged- oh! So I'M being rude? OKAY! FINE! I'm recording this you know. You're going ALL over the Internet. Oh yes you are! No, hey, my privilege cam! You just took it this is rape! You are assaulting me! Don't just shove it back into my hands like that! I call patriarchy! Oh no, I'm not done with you! Don't you close that door you Goddamn piece of sh- *slam*

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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