Why is Dominic's nick name big D? Because the first letter in his name is D.

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Q: How do you make scrach paper? A: Take a paper and scrach it.

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What did the boy with no legs get for Christmas? A nice sweater.

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Why did the girl have twins she was raped

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How many dead babies can you fit in my car? None, I don't allow anyone to put dead babies in my car.

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How many Jews can you fit in a Volkswagon? 2 in the front seat, 3 in the back.... and that's it because the holocaust never happened.

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What do chinese people eat? Chinese food.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I can't really remember the reason, it was about 5 years ago and a lot of things have happened since.

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What did the lawyer say to a lawyer? We're both lawyers.

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What's black and white and red all over? A modern abstract painting

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Poop

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Whats the difference between 10 dead babies and 8 dead babies? 2 dead babies.

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Where is one place everyone eventually goes to rest? A cemetery.

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How many blondes does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One.

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Q: Who wants a chick with big breasts? A: Everyone apparently, because chickens are being genetically engineered that way because people are racist about what part of the chicken then want to eat. The white meat or the dark meat. Guess what? Now they can't walk because they are top heavy. And who's fault is that? The people who only eat the white meat.

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A baby seal walks into a club.

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What is big white and will kill you if it falls out of a tree in winter A refrigerator

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What's the best way to win a race? Run faster than all other participants.

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Yo momma so fat she when god said let there be let he said get the fuck out the way!

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What do friends and trees have in common? They will both fall over after being hit multiple times with an ax.

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What's worse, a dead baby or an abortion? A dead baby on a bayonet

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What's young and not funny? Todays anti-joke writers.

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What did the football coach say to fire up his team? Nothing. He was not legally allowed to say anything to his team as they were being locked out by the coach's boss, the owner of the team and anything that he said to them could lose him his job.

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After pursuing a speeding vehicle for 10km at speeds ranging from 120 - 160km/h, the police officer managed to stop the driver. The driver of the vehicle rolled down the window and asked, "What seems to be the problem officer?" to which the police officer replied, "It sounds like one of your cylinders is firing incorrectly, you have a fairly large amount of carbon build-up on and around your exhaust pipe."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops