Chris: Hey, want to hear a sad joke? Joe: No, those are mean and offensive.

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How do you kill a blonde? The blonde you were planning on killing, Sarah, arrives home from a rather tiring run. She lets her hair down from her ponytail, and even though she is a little sweaty At the moment, you realize what a beautiful woman she really is. You decide to ask her to marry You, and after she says yes, you two make passionate love in the front seat Of your 2011 Cadillac Escalade.

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A woman leaves the kitchen.

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"Knock knock!" "Who's there?" "Interrupting Owl." "Interrupting Owl who?"

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A Blonde Goes On "Who Wants To Be A Millionaire"

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jwe

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Vagina.

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What did the homeless man get for Christmas? Frostbite. He died the following day.

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"Knock, knock." "You don't have to say that. The door's open, come on in."

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How did the boyfriend react when the girlfriend told him she was pregnant? Nothing.. He already changed his number and packed up his things and moved out of the state

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knock knock who's there Bob I don't know you Bob and if you don't get off my porch this minute i'm calling the authorities.

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KONY 2012

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zx

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What do you call a boy with no arms and legs? Simply a pillow

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Why did the black man smell really bad? A: becuase he ran out of paper

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what has four wheels and opens using a key? -a trunk on wheels

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Whats worse than a baby crying on a plane. 9/11

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What does a lonely man do on opposite day? I don't know. Why should we know what he does, that is both weird and illegal. Stalking is a serious crime and should not be used. We do not know what he does on normal days, thus we cannot come to a conclusion to this question. However, I do hypothesize that he must be social on this day because this is the opposite of lonely.

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Why does history repeat itself? Because no one listened to it the first time.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

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What did the kid with cancer get for christmas? A puppy, but it was left too long in a wrapped up box without air, it quickly suffocated and ruined the kids chirstmas.

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How many dead babies fit into a bathtub? 23

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You dropped something.... Yo lip

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Why did the man starve to death? He had no food.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops