When life gives you melons. You're not dyslexic because you can probably tell the difference between a lemon and melon because they look so different.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

One day, an Irishman, a Jew and an American were walking home from a long game of golf. "God, that was a long game" said the American, to which the Irishman replied "aye, that it was." The Irishman then turned to the Jew, and asked him how he managed to get two birdies in succession. The Jew, after a moment of deliberation, began to explain. "Well, it all began when I was six. See, there was a mountain right next to Casparia, the village I lived for most of my life back in Wales. Every day, I'd come back from school, and ask my dad why nobody ever attempted to scale the mountain. 'To do so would be an unnecessary risk, son, and people are too busy working to put food and water on the tables for their families to undertake something so foolish.' One night, when insomnia was getting the better of me, I decided to get a better look at the mountain, so I strapped on my boots, my fur coat and some woolly mittens and left for the mountain. After a few hours of walking, I approached the closest hill which gave me a perfect view of the mountain's first peak, and there I spotted a polar bear, mauling a hiker to death." The Jew paused to check the Irishman and the American were following, when the American spoke up; "hold on there, there aren't any polar bears in Casparia!" The Irishman also spoke up; "there isn't even a village called Casparia, well, anywhere!" The Jew smiled slightly, and a few seconds later the smile broke out into a gigantic grin, and he finally replied: "exactly".

thumb_up thumb_down -15

How many dead babies does it take to paint a wall? Depends. How hard can you throw?

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Why did the chicken cross the road? It is theoretically impossible to read another's inner thought process, but it was probably due to the electric stimulation from the brain to give the chicken's muscles the ability to move.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

When life throws you lemons, duck cuz they freakin' hurt

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What's under there? I'm not falling for that one...

thumb_up thumb_down -15

A man walks into a bar. He has a serious drinking problem and is destroying his life.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

How do you keep a black man inside? Shoot his leg.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What do you call cheese that isn't your's Well it would depend on what type of cheese it actually is

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What's the time when black men take over? Poor past never.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

How do you tell if a black man is ok? Poke it with a very long pole and keep your distance...

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What's worse than being a replacement? An insufficient replacement.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What do an onion and a hamster have in common? They are both in my Grandma's omelette.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

My computer will die soon, and my life is a lie. Refrigerator.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

A man walks into a vagina. The man, expecting a holiday inn, is very confused, and later gets mauled by five bears, who mistook his scent for a fish.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

whats worse than having that Holocaust joke be the best anti-joke for months? Windows updates

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What did the oncologist say to his patient? You have terminal cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Why did the nerd cross the road?? BAZINGA!!!! xD

thumb_up thumb_down -15

A: How many women does it take to screw in a light bulb? Q: None! They shouldn't have to...

thumb_up thumb_down -15

A priest was walking home from church one day when he found a young boy crouching naked in the bushes. The priest contacted local law enforcement authorities on his cell phone and proceeded home once they arrived.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

"Ask me a question." "No" "Cheese" ... "What?"

thumb_up thumb_down -15

A beautoful poem: Roses are red Violets are blue I have a gun! gimme all your money!

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What did one cat say to another? Cats cant talk

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What did the lady with Alzheimer's do yesterday She can't remember

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops