How do you get a clown off of your property? You ask him politely to get off and if he doesn't, you should contact the authorities immediately.

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My Nan, that is all.

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What's worse than 13 babies stapled to one tree? One baby stapled to 13 trees...

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Nero I know I am being a selffish bastard, but please let me speak with you for ten more minutes or so, I am sorry but its like part of me do not believe its you, we all saw your corpse, attended your funeral, please stick with me, I just feel flustered vulnerable and stupid.

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Friends are like snowflakes, they go away when you pee on them.

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what do you call a joke that makes no sense? a joke that makes no sense

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How can you tell if someone is vegan? -they'll tell you

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream? Because he was hit by a bus.

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A police officer asks a witness of a murder what he witnessed. The man replies "A murder"

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Why was the pig sweating? It wasnt, because pigs have adapted by using behavioral thermoregulation, which is the act of cooling themselves in the mud or water.

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ass.

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A little boy came runing to his mum' mummy...can a little girl have ababy? Mom reply no...so, the boy ran out and told his frnd 'we can play naked again'.,

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What is brown and has three legs? A horse. It lost a leg in a glue factory.

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Q:Why was the frog sad A:He was stapeld to a boys face.

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Yo mama's so fat, she weighs 283 pounds.

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Why did the doctor commit suicide? His wife was recently killed in a car accident and simply could not take the emotional pain!

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Q: A blonde, a red-head, and a brunette all jump off the bridge at the same time. Who hits the ground first? A: As stated by Sir Isaac Newton's third law of gravitation, all three fall to their deaths at the exact same time because the velocity of a falling object is unaffected by the mass of that object... or their hair colour. Idiot.

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got into the car? Get in the car.

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Moo! I'm a goat!

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What happened when the prisoner dropped the soap? He picked it up.

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What's black and is as fast as a car? A black car.

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What did the fish say when it hit a wall? Nothing. Fish cannot talk.

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What's worse than taking a final? Getting shot in the face.

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Why did Sarah limp to school? Because she got hit by a tree

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops